Do you sweat all the time? Even when it’s objectively cold? Even when you’re barely exerting yourself? Are frat basements your nightmare because all your bodily fluids immediately evacuate your body via your open pores?
If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions then you’re like me, a chronic sweater.
As a sweater, there is a lot of careful planning that goes into your daily life of trying to minimize the amount you sweat (or at least hiding the extent of your problem from your loved ones). All of this can be exhausting.
To help out my fellow sweaters, here are some handy tips:
1) Have deodorant with you at all times
This seems obvious, but just having a mini deodorant in your backpack makes life soooo much easier.
2) Only wear black and white shirts
Over the years I have slowly been transitioning to a monochromatic wardrobe. Obviously there are issues with back and white, because black attracts the sun which causes you to sweat more, and white clothing stains yellow with sweat over time, so pick your poison. I say black in the winter and white in the summer. But really, don’t wear color cause the sweat stains will be atrocious. Also, no matter what you do, NEVER wear grey.
3) Form a club or support group
Find other people that share this issue. It feels great to have people who understand you, and you’ll feel less alone
4) Avoid hot yoga
I know the whole “sweating out your toxins” thing can sound appealing after a night of destroying your body with substances like alcohol, but NEVER do this. Sure, everybody sweats at hot yoga, but if you are a chronic sweater it will be really, noticeably bad. Just trust me. It’s bad. This trend is not for us.
5) When all else fails, use paper towels
Sometimes its good to take periodic trips to the bathroom and wipe your sweat. Is it socially acceptable? Not really. Will your body immediately replace the sweat you wiped away with new sweat? Absolutely. But at least you’ll feel sexy and free for the next 3 to 5 minutes.
6) Just get over yourself
Remember that no one is looking at you anyway or cares what you look like. This is barely a real problem at all. I can’t believe someone wrote a whole article on this lol.