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Body Language Guide for the Girls Who Are Shy to Flirt

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Wash U chapter.

1. Lock Eyes Three Times  

Lock eyes with the person you’re flirting with for a full five to six seconds, then smile and drop your gaze. Don’t stare a hole through the guy’s forehead for goodness sake, just give him a smoldering come-hither look before glancing away. Do this at least three times in a ten to fifteen-minute period. Why? Your target needs to know it’s him or her you’re flirting with, and eye contact is a universal signal of openness. According to “The Definitive Guide of Body Language,” by Alan and Barbara Pease, the person initiating the flirt on average needs to lock eyes three times before the flirt recipient catches on.

2. Be a Vampire’s Easy Victim – Expose Your Neck

One of the most winning techniques a girl can use to subtly flirt is the exposure of her neck. A head tilt to one side or my personal favorite, giving him the over-the-shoulder glance, will work wonders—the position attracts attention, exposes your neck, and gives you the opportunity to lock eyes. This is even extra effective since it sends a signal to your target that he or she is worth a second look.

3. Point with Your Body

This should go without saying – face him or her, even if you two aren’t talking. Pointing your body toward him or her is going to really make approaching easier. Allow yourself to be approachable. Whether you are sitting in a class or studying in Whispers, subtly point your knees with one leg tucked under the other towards your target, and use your shoulders to lean into them – even if you aren’t speaking with them. When sitting side by side, close off a space just for the two of you, such as crossing your legs towards each other.

4. Let Your Legs Do the Talking

Going off the last point, another surefire flirting technique is the occasional crossing and uncrossing of your legs, especially if you’re wearing high heels. The act of crossing your legs proves quite seductive to men and makes them desire to see more. Next time, during the post-party late night conversation, slip your heel out of your shoe and dangle it on your toes. The arch of the foot suggests a woman’s curves, and sends a man’s heart racing.

5. Be a Mimic

Similar gestures, voice volume, etc. Psychologists and body language experts agree that if you are mirroring someone’s behavior, they’ll begin to feel as though the two of you are connected and “in tune.”

6. Toy with Your Neck/Collarbones  

Play with the strap or the neckline of your shirt and fix the fit a little bit with a feminine gesture. Toying with your neck and your collarbones, whether you have a necklace on or just run your fingers along your throat, is all about drawing attention to your skin. This is truly a great and sneaky trick. By showing soft skin on a vulnerable part of the body, ladies worldwide have learned how to make themselves look helpless and sexy, which is a lethal combination that no hot-blooded guy can resist.

These are just a few body language tricks that are out there! Have you or your girl friends got anymore? Give them up to Her Campus!

Lace Nguyen is in her third year studying Comparative Literature at Washington University in St. Louis. While not entertaining college women with her wit and charm, she reads German novels and apologizes for how pretentious that sounds.