2022 became the year of soft launches. We all saw them on Instagram posts, BeReals, and Snapchat stories. The posting of one’s significant other in a way that tells the world you are in a relationship with someone without revealing too much. Not a single one. No faces, no timelines, sometimes not even a hair color of the person you’re dating. These soft launches could even be as subtle as just posting a picture of your dinner table with two wine glasses. It’s almost like playing a game of “I Spy”.
The goal: keeping your relationship as private as possible in a time of oversharing on social media.
While you might think that a soft launch of your new significant other is a strategic move in keeping your partner and the relationship private, your new status is not just for your followers.
Now, I’m not saying that the soft launch of your new partner is going to disrupt the space-time continuum. There are over 7.8 billion people on this planet who have other things to focus on. However, relationships, especially intimate ones, have an impact on a larger society.
First, relationships have a positive impact on personal health. Cardiovascular and immune system functions all improve during times of low relationship conflict (Kiecolt-Glaser et al, 1993,1996). Along with this, the risk of death after a heart attack decreases in patients with a significant other by almost 20% (Coyne et al., 2001). In general, stable intimate relationships make us, and the overall society, healthier.
Intimate relationships also have a large impact on our economy as well. On average, a divorce will cost taxpayers about $30,000 in welfare costs, child care needs, food stamps, and other necessities (Schramm, 2006). Along with this, as a household splits into two, the use of electricity and water goes up costing families more than before (Yu & Liu, 2007). In short, intimate relationships can cause financial effects to not only those in the relationship, but even to the people around you without them even knowing.
Speaking of the government, do you remember the last time you voted? You might be someone who is extremely politically active, canvassing and advocating for your politician of choice. Or, maybe you are a more casual observer who goes to vote in general elections. Wherever you stand, you might believe that you and your right to vote are between you and the ballot. However, the ending of intimate relationships, specifically in the cases of divorce, lowers the likelihood of people voting in the next election cycle (Kern, 2010). Due to residential mobility, people who move after the end of an intimate relationship often forget to register or take the time to vote. Your break up might affect the outcome of the Presidential election! (I’m kidding, don’t worry. Once again, lots of people on this earth).
While these are just a few examples of intimate relationships playing into the grander scheme of things, social control theory dives deeper into the connections between intimate relationships and their effects on society (Hirschi, 1969). This theory explains that intimate relationships regulate and alter people’s behaviors in a way that conforms them to societal norms. People in relationships feel the need to follow these norms with the fear of losing their significant other if they don’t.
So, next time you think about posting that cute soft launch of you and your significant other’s shoes, stop and think Yes, this BeReal is going to be sent to 30 of your closest friends. But, as your intimate relationship grows and continues, it begins to affect more than just you two. In fact, maybe it’s not even really a soft launch at all. While it might feel like it’s you and your partner against the world, just know that you two are actually influencing and becoming a part of it.