Collegiettes™! At last we are here – the last installment of the perfect partying series. I hope you’ve been implementing some of the strategies I’ve already laid out in my “Perfect Partying” series. I know I have, and it’s definitely been helping my weekends (and some weekdays . . .) run smoother! But what’s going out without the inevitable going home? Much as we’d like to pretend the opposite, parties do eventually end. So of course, as any smart collegiette™ knows, the perfect partying experience is incomplete without successfully maneuvering the “after.” Follow these simple do’s and don’ts, and you’ll be well on your way, HC style.
Do make sure your friends are all accounted for.
Need I reiterate my “birds of a feather flock together” mantra? Best case scenario, you leave someone behind and they get home fine, but expect the cold shoulder tomorrow morning. Worst case scenario? Let’s just say stranded at a frat house at 4 a.m. alone is not on my Wake Forest bucket list. Before you leave a party, check and see how all of your girls are getting home. Or better yet, leave together!
Don’t go home alone.
Needless to say, no matter where you are out partying, leaving solo is not only depressing, but also dangerous. Okay, so maybe your flirtation with the Last Resort bartender didn’t work out (a positive in the long run, might I add) . . . storming into the nearest stranger’s car with none of your friends and none of your inhibitions is a recipe for embarrassment and possible danger. It’s called the buddy system, ladies. If you’re hell-bent on leaving, at least convince one of your friends to go home with you.
Do be nice to your pledge driver.
So you managed to snag your roomie and hop into a random pledge driver’s jeep. Good for you! Oh wait, you’re best bud has suddenly transformed into her “angry drunk” self. Bad. Very, very bad. Pledge drivers have rough enough jobs as it is! Do you think shuttling boisterous brothers and screaming girls is a fun way to spend a Friday evening? Be polite, and make sure your friends are, too. Not only will it save your reputation, but the next time you call for a ride over to Polo, your call won’t immediately be ignored.
Don’t aimlessly drive around.
By the same token, thinking you’re being “nice” by sitting shotgun and yapping away to your driver is also a no. If you’re in a car heading home, please please please go there and only there. No collegiette™ has ever felt good waking up and remembering having told their life story to a pledge at 3 a.m. Or remembering they demanded a trip to Cook-Out. Rarely does that pan out well, so unless the pledge is your actual sober friend,driving aimlessly is something to avoid.
Do drink water when you get home.
At last you’ve made it home! What’s the first thing you do? Walk right past your fridge and hop into bed? NO! Hello?! Have you forgotten you have just returned from a night of drinking and dancing? Two activities guaranteed to dehydrate you. Unless you want to enjoy the hangover from hell in the morning, drink a glass of water before bed. It will stave off the worst of your morning-after symptoms, I swear.
Don’t embark on a one-woman eating spree.
Heading for the fridge when you come home from a night out has its risks. That leftover Chinese from last night that you refused to eat for lunch? Suddenly it looks like a gourmet meal. But please heed my warning when I say: Back away from the dumplings! Seriously, girls, grabbing all the singles from your wallet and eating sixteen bags of Cheetos when you come home might seem like a good idea circa 2 a.m., but it will only lead to nausea, a messy bedroom and the sharp pain of morning regret. If you’re a girl who likes to snack when she comes home, be my guest. But try pre-organizing your late night snacks in accessible containers before you go out. It will drastically improve your partying experience.
Do get ready for bed.
As tempting as crawling into bed in your mini skirt and wedges might seem at the time, waking up to a make-up smeared pillowcase and Ke$ha hair is no fun. Pre-organize your bedtime supplies before you go out, and get in the habit of a late-night routine. Wash your makeup off, brush your teeth, and put something comfy on. Though I will admit, when you wake up 5 minutes before class, last night’s makeup can be pretty handy. But for the most part, getting ready for bed after going out is a much better option.
Don’t open your laptop.
So now you’re fresh-faced, minty-breathed and snuggled up in bed. Too bad sleep just isn’t coming. You reach for your Thinkpad and – stop right there. If you have been drinking during the night, popping open Facebook is almost always a no. Realizing you “liked” thirty statuses in a misguided late-night fog is no fun. So unless you really trust your online self-regulation, even after a night out, put the computer away.
Do make yourself presentable for class.
No one likes the girl strolling into class five minutes late smelling like tequila with the wrist band from the bar still on. Particularly not your professor. Wake up (gasp!) an extra five minutes early and make the effort to at least brush your teeth and wash the x’s off your hands. A shower is ideal, of course, but in a pinch, at least clean up a little and put some fresh clothes on. You’ll feel better about yourself all morning long, trust me.
Don’t go to class if you’re sick.
Of course, every once in a while, you have one of those mornings where getting up for class after a night out is downright impossible. Should this become a habit? Absolutely not. If you’re someone who has trouble regulating how hard they party, then going out on weeknights is probably not for you. But, if it just so happens that you accidentally drank one margarita too many, and have now found yourself with serious morning misery, stay home. Believe me, fighting nausea and seeing double through your 9:30 will only raise your professor’s eyebrows and make you feel worse.
So that’s it, you guys! A couple of easy-to-follow do’s and don’ts that will ensure the final stage of your night out runs smoothly. Perfect partying is about playing it safe while still having a good time. It’s not hard to add in a little regulation to your normal weekend routine, and doing so will make your life infinitely easier – I promise.
*Photo credit Elise Wallace