The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
How do you even begin to explain your relationship with your sister? She’s the person I trust more than anyone in this world and the person who steals my clothes and ships them back to college with her. She’s the person I admire and the person I’ve called horrible, ugly names. She’s the person who knows me better than I even know myself, but there have been times when I’ve thought I might legitimately kill her. Yet there has never been a moment in my life when I didn’t know and recognize her. There has never been a moment that I didn’t want to be around her. And there are never enough thanks to give her for the impact she has had on my life. My sister is the reason I’m the woman I am today. Because of this, here is a letter for her:
When you left for college, when I was just a mere freshman in high school, I was relieved. I’m sorry if that sounds mean, but my relief didn’t stem from you being out of my life. In a way, I was excited to live my life on my own —to need you less. You’re just so cool and a great force. I felt like everything I did was an unconscious imitation of how you would go through life. I wanted to feel as if I could be like that without your guiding hand. However, this relief turned into loneliness so fast that I almost couldn’t process it. I missed spending time with you. We always found adventures to embark on and fun ways to pass time. I would even go as far as to say I missed the bickering, too. With you gone, I realized that I wasn’t turning into you but that your presence made me my most comfortable and confident version of myself, in the same way that you hone those traits. As you grew in college, I saw you make new friends and have new experiences. You tended to your passions and grew as a student and an eventual professional. You created your own style, developed new hobbies and even learned another language. Selfishly, I was scared that you would grow too much and would become too detached from the hometown we got to know each other in. I was nervous that you wouldn’t want to drive home, down on the streets that we used to mark up with chalk and play kickball with the neighborhood kids on. It’s quite easy and normal to have your little sister on the back burner of your life. But you always called, you always visited and you treated me like the best friend you always had. You made me feel like I was living life with you even though you lived a few hours away. And I am endlessly grateful that I got to witness those years in college when you grew into the genuine, fiercely passionate person you are today.
Now that I’m in college myself and you’re out there working your big girl job, I understand what it was like for you during that great period of growth when you left for college. With both of us away from home now, I originally thought that we would drift apart, becoming too busy living our own lives. However, since then, I have found that I rely on you now more than ever. When I have exciting news, you’re the one I tell. When something embarrassing happens to me, I call you so we can laugh about it. If I’m suffering from the Sunday Scaries or need a moment of grounding, I know you will tolerate my irrational rants. Once I left for school, I realized that you are more so my home than our childhood house ever was. And even though we may be physically distant for the greater portion of our lives, I don’t feel far away from you. This is, of course, if our plan to have side-by-side houses falls through. So, I guess what I want to say is thank you for never leaving me behind and being my forever friend. I know I’ve annoyed you, insulted you and have been under-appreciative of you. But you’ll always be my favorite person and, hey, what are sisters for? Thank you for being yourself unapologetically and showing me how to do the same. Thank you for including me in your life for years to come. Most importantly, thank you for being my sister and my home.