Last year, I went through a “situationship” breakup and it left me emotionally drained and unsure of how to trust somebody in a relationship. After a month or so of crying, cookie dough, and support from my closest friends, I still wasn’t completely ready to dive into something. However, I knew I needed to slowly reintroduce myself into the dating world. As most young, single people do I downloaded Tinder and Bumble. This was in May, so a lot of students (myself included) were leaving Blacksburg for the summer. This made the idea of having a dating profile out there and actually talking to people a little less intimidating. I still had my anxieties about the process though. What if no one was interested in me? Was I going to be catfished? What if I wasn’t ready to be out there yet?
Two or three days passed by before my profile started to gain some momentum. Watching the guys slide into my dm’s was a huge confidence booster. As shallow as that is, I think everyone needs a little hype up every once in awhile. I was the first to make a move on Bumble and it was empowering. It took away some of the pressure of having to act on a match. I still wasn’t really feeling anything for anyone though. When I went home for the summer, I kept my radius open enough to include Blacksburg on a whim. I also knew there were slim pickings in my hometown.
June rolled around and I ended up matching with someone from my hometown. We went on two dates and that time with him reminded me that it would all be okay; I could come back from the heartbreak I had experienced. A strong, emotional part of me that was bruised and tucked away slowly began to resurface again. He showed me that not every guy is an ass. The connection fizzled out pretty fast but I didn’t leave with a bad taste in my mouth. I continued swiping to my hearts content with a little bit more confidence than I started out with.
Summer continued and so did the swiping. I’d had a few conversations with guys, but none ever stuck — until someone responded to the Vine reference in my bio. There were no awkward breaks in a conversation where neither person knows what to talk about. We messaged for about two days on Tinder, talking about pretty much everything. We traded numbers and I braced myself for things to stop. No one really wants to just text for a whole summer, especially when a genuine connection was there. Knowing myself, I also worried I would get too emotionally involved and just set myself up for heartbreak.
But he didn’t let me down. Throughout the summer we would text each other almost everyday. We would Snapchat, send each other dog pics on Instagram and then FaceTime or call each other. The way we got to know each other, long distance talking, is completely unconventional but I think it gave us a strong foundation to build something incredible. Of course, I was terrified we would meet in the fall and hate each other or just not mesh. There was so much build up, so many sweet texts and conversations all from a distance, that a letdown was inevitable. Fall came fast and there was no disappointment when we first met. He is exactly who I need. I am learning how sweet, amazing and open a person can be and what a healthy relationship is like. The bruise from past hurt is quickly fading away. He is showing me what it means to be wanted, truly and simply wanted. Now we can laugh over “that’s what she said” jokes together, watch horror movies and be active parts of each other’s lives. I could gush for an embarrassingly long time about him so yeah, I guess I did meet my boyfriend on Tinder and I’m so happy that I did.
I also found a stronger more confident version of myself on Tinder. Dating apps allowed me to take my time through getting over someone and reminded that there are plenty of fish in the sea. I took conversations more casually over Tinder than I would in person, I was able to slow down when I needed to. I don’t know if going on TInder is the right step for everyone after a breakup, because parts of it were definitely hard. There can be days where the rejection or missed connections seem never ending. And you might not find anyone on a dating app, but maybe it can help you reclaim yourself after a rough breakup like it did for me.
Cover Image 1
Images 1/Image 2 is author’s own