We may not want to admit it, but there are certain standards if you will, that we are all expected to follow. Stereotypes contribute to determining these standards. If you are a student, you are to think a certain way, if you are a professional you are to behave a certain way, if you are a woman you are to dress, act, think, and behave a certain way.
If you break any of these stereotypes there are potential consequences, like judgment, exclusion, ridicule, etc. This is rarely challenged, as it is the way things are and always have been and that must mean it is perfectly acceptable.
Here is the problem: stereotypes should be challenged.
We should not be confined to one identity and the expectations that come along with that identity should not always be followed. We should be able to choose the identity or identities that we want. The expectations for the presentation of ourselves, thoughts, and behaviors should be what we want.
We are not defined solely by the molds that we fit into. We are more than that. You can be more than one stereotype or type of person.
Who we are, what we wear, what we think, and what we do should not be limited.
The choices that we make get us to wherever we are. They make up part of who we are, sure but again, we are more than that. Our choices are not a limitation of who we are either, because we are human, and humans make mistakes.
Here is the other problem, letting our mistakes define us.
Our mistakes do not define who we are.
Some might say that the choices you make and the way you conduct yourself reflect who you are. This is true, but is your entire reflection visible in this alone?
The judgment, exclusion, ridicule, and other consequences we face for stepping out of an expected stereotype are the same as making choices that are less than perfect. We are never going to be perfect; our choices will never be perfect.
Imagine meeting someone and when asked to tell about yourself you only list your mistakes.
Making the wrong choice in education, career, or relationships does not make us any less than who we are. Those mistakes don’t define us, and they don’t limit us.
Our mistakes are not something to be ashamed of. We should be proud of them and wear them like battle scars. Mistakes are a symbol of effort and courage. You take your mistakes and you learn from them; you grow into a better version of yourself.
The choices you make within yourself are your concern only. The opinions of others make no difference to who you are, so don’t let it be influential. Don’t worry about fitting into a certain stereotype, embrace being versatile. Don’t worry about your mistakes, they are in the past, and there will be plenty more.
What we do, say, and think all affect the choices we make, but those choices don’t entirely define who we are because our mistakes don’t define who we are.
Do what makes you happy, do what is right for you. If it ends up being a mistake turn it into success.
At the end of the day, it is only important that you are happy with the choices you have made. That those choices make you proud to be yourself.