In a few days, it will be my twentieth birthday. Twenty years is a long time to be alive, but in retrospect, I’ve only lived about 28% of my life. The past few days, I’ve been reflecting on the person I’ve become. I wanted to take this chance to not only thank the individuals who have helped make me someone I can say I am proud of being but also, to share the lessons I learned a little late in life. But hey, better late than never. Will this article be filled with the cliché phrases you’ve most likely seen cluttering up your VSCO and Pinterest feeds? Yes. I’m going to ask you to keep reading though. I think everyone should take time to reflect on themselves, and maybe what I have to say will spark some much-needed change in your life.
Lesson 1: Be Honest.
When I say, be honest, I mean, be honest in every aspect of your life. Do not pretend to be someone you’re not, no matter the circumstance. Live your truth. Study what you want to pursue in life, date who you want to date, travel wherever your heart desires, because ultimately, you need to be happy with the life you’ve created for yourself.
When I say, be honest, I mean, say what you’ve been wanting to say. Stick up for yourself or for others. Speak out about that cause you’re so passionate about. And for God’s sake, text that boy or girl you’ve been wanting to since FOREVER, and tell him or her how you feel.
Seriously. Life is too short to be anything less than honest.
Lesson 2: Surround Yourself With Positivity
Who you surround yourself with in life is incredibly important. These people will influence your daily decisions, big or small, and will ultimately sway your perception of certain situations. I’ve gone through many friendships in my short, twenty years of life. Some are still growing, some are just beginning, and others have come to an end. I am currently extremely lucky to have such optimistic friends, but honestly, two specific people come to mind when I think who bring positivity to my life. Lara and Renee, are two individuals who I consider to be some of my closest friends. They constantly find the good in any situation and are able to brighten someone’s day with a quick smile. Their positivity is contagious and is just one of the traits I admire most about them. Without these two in my life, my days would be deprived of laughter, comfort, word of encouragement, and thoughtful advice.
Lesson 3: Find Genuine Friends and Appreciate them.
Making friends is relatively easy for people. Through clubs, classes, social events, and so much more that occurs on campus, it’s honestly pretty hard to not find people to spend time with. The challenge is finding people who genuinely care about you. You’ll find the friends who only seem to text you when they need a favor or advice, but never seem to be available when you need the same. You’ll find the friends who are always ready to have a girls night out, but who can barely hold a conversation about anything other than last night’s festivities. And then you’ll find the friends who ask about your day. The friends who you meet for weekly lunches. The friends who you pull all-nighters with. The friends who will drive to your apartment at 1 AM just because you were craving Cook-Out. Genuine friends.
This bond won’t form overnight, but it’s important to realize which individuals give you the same support you give them.
Lesson 4: Love, and Love Hard
Love is scary. It’s a concept I crave and fear at the same time. Yet, it’s something that everyone needs more of. When you’ve found someone you care about, show them. Tell them you are thinking of them. Make plans to see them. Make sure he or she are doing well. And don’t take him or her for granted. This goes for all types of love. Romantic, friendly, family, whichever! Out of the 8 billion people in this world, there are only a few we as individuals truly connect with.
Love gets a bad reputation. It’s a feeling which can result in pain, heartache, sadness, and anger. But, it can also result in happiness, joy, comfort, and authenticity. To get the good of life, you sometimes have to experience the bad. Love is no different. To find that love you have been looking for, you may need to go through some poor relationships to discover what it is exactly what you are looking for. But once you do, allow yourself to fall. Don’t fight love, don’t hide, and don’t run away because you are scared of how it may end. If you do, you may miss out on one of best experience life had in store for you.
Lesson 5: Put Yourself First
As selfish as that may sound, it’s true. People come and go. Friends, family, partners. And while some people to stay for a lifetime, others are only meant to be in your life temporarily. Who you are, however, is someone you will be stuck with forever. Make decisions with your happiness and success in mind. I’m not saying you should only look out for yourself, what I’m saying is, in situations where you want or needs aren’t being met, fix it. And if it can’t be fixed, leave. Recognize when a situation is unchangeable, and recognize when you aren’t being treated properly.
Focus on yourself. What you want, what you need, what you have to offer the world. And spend every day working towards becoming a person you are proud of.
In the distant future, I don’t want to look back and think, what if? Or why didn’t I do that? I want to think of all the relationships I’ve strengthened and cherish those I was lucky enough to experience for the moment. I want to know I accomplished all the goals I set for myself and had fun along the way. I want to know I lived an authentic life, one which I am satisfied with. So although I am only turning twenty, I’d like to think I’ve learned a few lessons which will only make life easier in the coming years.
Source: All photos are author’s own.