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A Letter to the Girl That’s “One of the Boys”

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Virginia Tech chapter.

To the reader of this article, I know it can hurt when you’re called “just one of the guys.” Trust me, I’ve been there. But you shouldn’t let that statement define you; you are so much more than just “one of the guys.” It shouldn’t matter what someone perceives you as because in reality, being “one of the guys” isn’t all bad.

First off, you never have to worry about the drama that comes with being friends with a bunch of girls. A fun fact about guys: they are so much more laid-back than girls. Guys tend to not care about the little things and aren’t as nit-picky as girls so decision-making with your guy friends is 1,000 times easier than with your girl friends. With guys, you don’t have to fight over where to go out to eat or what to watch on TV because they either already have in mind what they want or don’t care in the first place. In some ways, being friends with guys can be easier than being friends with girls.

 

Second, and in my opinion the greatest benefit of having mainly guy friends: you have a built in group of protectors and saviors who never fail to come to your aid in a time of need. For as long as he’s been alive, my brother has been my best friend, which I attribute to my tendancy to have more male friends than female friends. Whenever I’m hurt or upset, my brother is always the first person to comfort and protect me and tell me everything’s okay. This same protective trait is also exhibited in the majority of guys; if you are ever hurt, whether it be by a guy, a class, or just having a bad day, you can always count on your guys to make you feel better, loved, and protected.

Despite the benefits of being “one of the boys”, sometimes it’s hard to be taken seriously by your guy friends when it comes to more feminine related topics such as girlfriend problems, celebrity gossip, and other general questions related to the female gender. They say things like, “But wait, you’re not a girly girl so you can’t like and understand this kind of stuff,” or they laugh at you because they don’t think you’re being serious. Their comments and laughter demean your worth as a woman because you exhibit some qualities that are more prominently displayed in men. You become small and begin to question yourself as an individual when in reality, it doesn’t matter if you’re “just one of the boys” or friends with a bunch of girls; what really matters is that you surround yourself with people that make you a better version of yourself.

So to whoever needs to hear it: you are one of a kind, you are a unique individual, and you do not need a man (or men) in your life to place a value on your worth. Being considered just “one of the guys” doesn’t define who you are as a person. So what you like to play Xbox then go to the mall with your friends, or you’d rather talk about the latest ESPN update rather than gossip about the newest Kardashian drama, that’s okay. Don’t change who you are in order to better fit society’s perspective of you. If you’re happy with the way you are, then honey, don’t change a thing. 

 

Sincerely,

Another “one of the boys”

 

 

Gifs sourced from Giphy.com: 1/2/3/4

Alexandra Brooks

Virginia Tech '22

Alexandra is a senior at Virginia Tech studying Cognitive and Behavioral Neuroscience with a minor in Political Science. A 5'2-ish Canadian-American who will stop whatever she is doing to go pet a dog, Alexandra chooses to live everyday by the motto, "Just be yourself." When not stressing out over her major or writing for Her Campus, Alexandra can be found working out, reading, listening to music, and hanging out with her friends and family.
Camden Carpenter

Virginia Tech '21

Senior studying Smart and Sustainable Cities, with hopes to become a traveling urban developer. Attemping to embody "Carpe Diem" in her everyday life, both physically by getting a tattoo of the quote, and mentally by taking risks while trying to maximize each day's full potential.