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Friendsgiving: Celebrating the Family we Choose

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Virginia Tech chapter.

Thanksgiving, a time meant for gratitude, warmth and togetherness, can create conflicting emotions for many. While it’s supposed to be a day of celebration and appreciation, not everyone finds it easy to be thankful, especially when dealing with family. Family dynamics can be complex, and for some, spending time with relatives during the holidays can evoke feelings of stress, tension or even isolation. The pressure to feel thankful, particularly when faced with challenging family circumstances, can be overwhelming. 

Returning home for the holidays is a daunting task when you know the week may be filled with interrogations, arguments and criticisms. I personally understand this, as many of my family relations stem from a place of control, instead of love and acceptance. I’m expecting this year’s holidays to be especially complicated as my dad’s parents are visiting, making it the first time many of us have seen them in over a decade. On top of that, I recently confessed to my mom that my new boyfriend is not religious — which being Christian is the most important thing to her when it comes to my own and my sister’s relationships. 

However complicated your thanksgiving may be, it’s essential to remember that family and gratitude don’t have to solely rest in your blood-relations. I became much happier when I decided that my friends, the people that bring joy and support into my life, are my real family. 

ENTER: Friends giving, a celebration of thankfulness with the family you choose — the friends who are your rock, confidants and an integral part of your life. This concept is a refreshing alternative to traditional family gatherings, and allows for a time to celebrate the bonds you’ve formed and that you truly appreciate.

The beauty of Friends giving lies in its inclusivity. It welcomes individuals from diverse backgrounds, making it a melting pot of shared experiences, laughter and love. During this celebration, friends gather to share a meal, create new traditions and, most importantly, offer emotional support and camaraderie.

Friends giving embodies the spirit of Thanksgiving in its truest form — gratitude and celebration without the constraints of traditional familial obligations. Acknowledging the challenges surrounding family dynamics and choosing to celebrate in a different way doesn’t diminish the essence of Thanksgiving; instead, it opens the door to embrace the concept of celebrating with those who truly uplift and support us. It’s about recognizing that gratitude transcends biological relationships and extends to the family we’ve curated through the connections we’ve made along life’s journey.

This Thanksgiving, consider celebrating Friends giving, whether it be with your friends here at school or those waiting for you back home. Embrace the opportunity to surround yourself with the love, laughter and unwavering support of the family you’ve found  — I know I will be.

Sarah Hevener

Virginia Tech '25

Sarah Hevener is a current junior at Virginia Tech pursuing dual degrees — one in Professional and Technical Writing and one in Public Relations. Last year she was an editor for HerCampus, but after doing that for a year she decided to branch out and write articles instead.