In the beginning of 2022, I read Dolly Alderton’s Everything I Know About Love after seeing quotes from the book all over my social media. I was hooked immediately and Everything I Know About Love became my new favorite book. My copy is well-worn with scribbles all over the margins, sticky notes popping out of the book at every chapter, and dozens of highlighter marks because I was so attached to the book and her writing.
Alderton’s memoir is about her life from a late teen into her 30s as she comes to terms with her notions of love and friendships. It’s written in a very casual style like she’s writing in her own journal, so as a reader it’s very easy to connect to the book and relate to her experiences. It’s very easy to connect to the book since she relates directly to the reader. Through her writing she perfectly encapsulates what it feels like to be a 20twenty something girl going through love and life through her writing.
She begins the book in her university years and wow —, it’s like she can see into my life. Alderton discusses the hardships of being in school in your 20stwenties and how you simultaneously feel like you should do nothing, yet everything, at the same time. Relationships and friendships are all too confusing, especially when we’re trying to figure out our own lives, let alone how we interact with others. I loved these early chapters in her book the most because they felt so intensely relatable, which was very validating and hopeful at the same time.
Going to college can feel really isolating and stressful at times because we compare ourselves to the social media highlight reels of others’ lives. But her book was one of the big factors in getting over this stress and fear. She writes about how life is more than just a singular happy moment, but all of these little special moments that you share with friends. The line, “But a lot of it was magnificent, carefree fun. A lot of it was an adventure, through cities, countries, stories, and people,” really helped change my outlook on the pressures of life, because all it really is is an adventure.
Most of her memoir discusses friendship with one of the most defining quotes of the book saying, “Nearly everything I know about love, I’ve learned in my long-term friendships with women.” Throughout the memoir, she talks about the moments she’s shared with friends in times of love, loss, and everything in between. This was one of the most powerful pieces of her writing because it really shifted the focus from trying to constantly find romantic love in life to strengthening the bonds with your friends because they’re who will lift you up and love you wholeheartedly.
Alderton continuously stresses the importance of bonding with friends, but also making time for yourself and appreciating all the memories in life, no matter what emotions they may bring. It’s a very wholesome read and helped change the perspective on life that I had that felt very steadfast, where I had to have an organized plan and wasn’t living in the moment because of it. She writes so beautifully, describing these moments in the most heartfelt way possible and it helped me reflect on the moments in my life that I used to simply pass by.
She writes, “I may not have all the things I thought I’d have at thirty. Or all the things I’ve been told I should have. But I feel content; grateful for every morning that I wake up with another day on this earth and another chance to do good and feel good and make others feel good too.” This is such an important mindset to have since we only have one life on this earth as we know it and we might as well make the best of it; appreciate the small memories in your twenties now, don’t rush to the future, and hold your friends close and deeply to you.
I could talk about this book and its impact for ages, but I think it’s important for everyone to read it for themselves and get the wonderful, whole picture of love from Dolly Alderton.