I have always been one to have a small number of friends of great quality. I believe that you don’t need to have a ton of friends to be fulfilled, but it’s their quality of friendship that matters the most. With this mindset, friendship breakups can feel like the worst thing ever because you feel like you’re losing a large part of your life. Over the years, drifting away from people is something I have experienced a lot due to all the changes in my life and friend circles. Although losing friends or drifting away from people is a natural part of life, it still hurts when someone you were once really close with doesn’t reach out anymore.
One of the reasons friends drift away from each other is because of poor communication. This is something I have firsthand experience with. Coming to college has been hard for many reasons, and one of them is losing touch with hometown friends. Without communicating with each other and finding ways to stay connected, the friendship will end on its own. You need to be willing to put in the effort to keep the friendship going by finding times to catch up, even if it’s just a simple Facetime call. For me, carving out time to catch up with friends from home has really helped me keep in touch with them.
Sometimes reaching out can become tedious, and you know it’s time the friendship has come to its conclusion. Growing up playing volleyball has given me some really good friends along the way, but it also has given me some really tough goodbyes. While playing on club volleyball teams, I have made friends that I thought would last forever, and to discover that these friendships were merely situational was a difficult pill to swallow. While these friendships were very strong at the time, they eventually ceased to exist as we all went our own ways.
Though losing friends is a painful experience, there are some ways to cope with it and learn to get over a friend’s breakup. One of the things I have learned is to be thankful for what a friendship gave me instead of being sad that it ended. While it is okay to mourn the end of a close friendship, it is also important to accept that it is over and be grateful for the experiences you had with them. I feel like everyone that I have been friends with was for a reason, and I am really glad I was able to know them.
Another way I cope with the loss of friendships is to appreciate the friends I have now. By putting all your energy into the friendships you have right now and not dwelling on past ones, it allows you to enjoy them to the fullest. The more you put into current friendships, the more likely they are to last longer. Some things to consider might be having weekly lunches, getting together to study, or just hanging out with a friend on a regular basis.
It is important to remember that it is okay if a friendship does not last and that recognizing that a friendship has ended does not invalidate the friendship. While it does not hurt less knowing this, you ultimately grew and learned from the friendship, and the memories will stay with you forever.