Coping with a “Situationship”

For some reason, our generation seems to have developed the fundamental problem of being more incapable of relationships than a lot of others. A few weeks ago, my friend who recently experienced an especially painful heartbreak looked at me and asked, 

“How do you get over a relationship that you’re not even sure existed in the first place?” 

A lot of my friends have experienced this complex kind of pairing recently, where they’re completely unsure of the nature of their relationship with a guy. When did it become so commonplace to “talk” to someone for months on end with no real end goal in mind? 

This is what is often described as a “situationship”- which is not a relationship at all, but rather a complicated situation in which there is no real word to define what you’re in. You can’t call them your significant other; you may not even go on real dates so you can’t even refer to yourself as dating... so where does that leave you? 

Where that leaves you, essentially, is completely in the dark about whether you should be interested in other people or whether or not you should be unloading your feelings to them about becoming more serious in the hopes that they actually do. And if you’ve ever been in this type of situation, I think you can completely agree that it is not a fun place to be in. 

So how do we avoid this painful and honestly pointless situation we can find ourselves being sucked into? It’s called communication, ladies, and it’s something a lot of people struggle with-- which is perfectly understandable. It’s hard for us to defy our very nature and be willing to be completely honest and let down our walls to let someone else in to see the raw, true version of ourselves. But if you aren’t honest with someone about what’s going on in your head and heart, you can’t expect them to be aware of what is. 

So if you are in one of these situations, I hope that you realize that if you want a relationship to go any further, you have to let the person know, or nothing will ever happen. We can’t sit around and wait for things to hopefully change-- if you want change, you and ultimately you have the power to make it happen. 

 

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