What’s elegant, tranquil, yet shockingly gorgeous? If you were to ask me, it’s you; however, growing up I wish I would have understood this. As a teenager growing up in a social media-driven world, feeling fulfilled was a daily struggle. Somedays I would feel satisfied with my life: school was going fine, my friends were better than ever and most excitingly, the boy I liked was talking to me. I cringe to admit it, but yes. The attention I received from others is what filled the void within myself. As long as the people I strived to impress were reciprocating good energy back to me, I was at peace. But on the days where I was not necessarily receiving the attention I so desired, my emotions would be all over the place and suddenly my world would be filled with nothing but doom and gloom. I truly had no way of assuaging the unease I had about myself, where I was heading or what I deserved.
Then, one day, I quite literally said, “Screw it.” After a long day in school, I hopped into my car with a scowl very visible to my passing classmates. I drove myself straight to the store, where I explored a whole new kind of retail therapy – gifting myself the flowers I wanted to receive from another. I wanted attention and to feel worthy; I had dreamed of the boy of my dreams coming to my house with a bouquet of roses alongside his declaration of love for me. But on this day, I finally saw the truth for what it is, and I gained a better interpretation of the world around me: the only person I can control is myself. I cannot control what others see, and I cannot control what they think or how they will react to me, but what I can control is how I carry myself. The most attractive trait in a person is confidence, but this is something I lacked until very recently. Before, I withstood unfair treatment from not only boys but friends as well. I knew I deserved the same respect I projected onto others, yet I was stuck in a funk waiting for someone else to step in and magically transform my life for the better, and only then I would supposedly be happy. Little did I know, this would not happen unless I dug deeper within myself and repaired the missing pieces on my own.
I understand there are probably tons of quotes out there pertaining to being confident and “self-love”, but let’s face it, these messages are plastered everywhere from magazines to billboards to little inspirational cards in Hallmark. It’s easier said than done, but it’s true: self-love is irreplaceable and no one can take it from you. Standing my ground and knowing my worth is what has forever changed my life. While I am still finding myself everyday as I face setbacks, I can move forward each day knowing I’m honoring my values. When I do have a bad day, I now traditionally go to the store and buy myself the bouquet of white roses I deserve. I love me, the rest can wait.
I believe in self-care, specifically giving your mind the attention it deserves. For most of us, life is fast paced and constantly changing. However, the details matter. You cannot do something successfully if your mind is not in check. Might I mention how you do something is how you do everything. So, the next time you feel upset, discouraged or simply have just had a terrible day, buy yourself those flowers calling your name. Flowers are beautiful and so are you.