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The Art of Being Able to Deep Throat

Gotcha. Going for views here, folks. This blog actually describes 7 completely mish-mashed things that I hate about everyday life in no particular order. Unfortunately, for me, I come across all of them quite frequently, assuming you do too. Let’s get to it.
 
1. Loud Chewing Noises
My first question is why? Why hasn’t anyone ever punched you in the face for chewing like a llama? I’m just going to start spitting on people’s faces who gnash it up like their only nourishment is pop rocks. Honestly, I know not everyone feels as passionately about this as I do and doesn’t find it as annoying, but I just would like the general etiquette of chewing quietly to be brought back. I also realize in some countries chewing loudly represents a sign of appreciation for the food… that’s not the general understanding everywhere, so let’s keep it to a minimum in Amurrica.
 

2. 
Religious Restaurant Establishments
Blacksburg just got a Cook Out, which is a fairly cheap burger and fries joint with late hours. I like the hours, prices and the food is decent, however, I hate that their religious backbone shines through so strongly. They print Biblical verses on the cups, and play religious music loud and clear. I know I can choose to not go there if I don’t like the morals that the brand name supports, but I also don’t understand why is it necessary to push those beliefs on your customers? Why wouldn’t you let your product speak for itself? I think there is a time and a place for religion and over a greasy burger is not the time.
 
3. Couples Who Break-Up and Get Back Together… Routinely
If you change your relationship status as often as you change your clothes, you’re probably not in a good relationship. I feel like couples take advantage of hurting their partner or make their relationship very public by changing the status of their relationship frequently. I, personally, don’t take a break-up seriously if you broke up last week, posted seventeen statuses about how Adele changed your life and then posted eighty-four pictures of you and your estranged boyfriend at a date function the next day. Yeah, I don’t feel bad for you. I honestly feel sorry for you that you and your “boyfriend” have so little respect for one another; you feel the need to take it out on everyone else who watches as these roller coaster relationships dwindle on for God knows why. It’s also incredibly frustrating for the friends of people in these relationships because every time you come looking for help and advice about how hurt you are, you do the complete opposite and get back together with the person. It’s frustrating and stupid, and you’ll look back and see what a waste of time and energy it all was.
 
With that being said, I think relationships take an incredible amount of work, and fights are inevitable, and sometimes break-ups will happen. When they do, quietly work out the details with a close friend and the ex-boyfriend and decide what the healthiest plan is to move forward. Sometimes that means getting back together, if that is the case, think logically about why you want to get back together and what your plan is if you find yourselves breaking up again in the future. 
 
4. Being Asked if I’m Pregnant
This one does not have to do with that awkward moment when you ask an overweight woman when her baby is due, only to realize that baby bump is not a baby bump, it’s actually a Chipotle burrito. This annoyance has to do with walking into the doctor’s offices to be bombarded with questions as to when your last period started and if you’ve been pregnant before. Literally, I’m here for a recommendation for physical therapy. I’m not pregnant. I’m on my period, and why is it any of your business? I guarantee that boys don’t go in with any assumption as to what their condition revolves around. Why can’t you wait two seconds before assuming I’m a dirty, idiotic whore who doesn’t know how to take a pill every day?
 
5. Pick-Up Lines… Dumb Ones
Pick-up lines are an awful creation, but I’ll admit, can be funny every once in a blue moon. I’m referring to the cheesy pick-up lines that come up if you search Google. On the other hand, the pick-up lines that I hate are the lines that men splurt out at women as they go about their everyday lives. These are all taken from my own personal experiences, and I’m still trying to figure out why anyone with a functioning brain would throw these out there as a first impression. I mean honestly, what are you trying to accomplish?
“Hey you, with the titties!”
“Tryna f*ck?”
“You’re gorgeous, because you’re tall. You’re not short.”

 *A$$ $mack!*
 
6. Opening Gifts
This applies specifically to my life, but maybe there is someone else out there who hates opening gifts as much as I do. When I open a gift, no matter what it is — I will not be excited. I usually don’t like the gifts people get me, even if it’s something I need and have asked for.  I routinely start crying out of frustration upon opening a gift and tell the person it’s not what I wanted, when it literally is something I wanted. I don’t know why I haven’t been able to learn how to fudge my reaction to opening things, but it just hasn’t happened yet. My parents stopped giving me Christmas presents because I would ruin Christmas morning… every single year.
 
7. Shaving My Legs
I really have a hard time believing that any woman (or man)
truly enjoys shaving their legs. The whole process goes against nature. Shaving takes a long time. As soon as you get out of the shower your legs get prickly again because it’s cold in the bathroom. You miss patches and defeat the purpose all together. Then, to add insult to injury, the person you shave them for doesn’t notice because they don’t care. Also, the process takes a long time, and wastes a lot of water. And finally, the blades are super expensive and if you use cheap blades your legs hate you. What is there to like about this? Not a damn thing.
 
 
Image Sources:
 http://www.points2shop.com/topic/107213/The-Cookout-Restaurant-picture-i…
 http://www.fitsugar.com/Tips-Working-Out-Hairy-Legs-Armpits-18985589
 http://behindthegreenveil.blogspot.com/2011/11/smbhd-makes-me-open-my-ch…
 

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