Compared to Halloween or Christmas or other mass holidays, Valentine’s Day seems to be one of the most debated and hated. Several sitcoms and rom-coms show Valentine’s Day as a day to hate and despise — cue Sex and the City clips of crying into ice cream containers, sitting in pajamas, and waiting for the dreaded day to end. I hear people talking all the time about how much they hate the holiday and how it’s simply a corporate cash grab for Hallmark cards and chocolate hearts.
I don’t doubt that Valentine’s Day has become a corporate holiday that persuades people to buy new things — whether it’s gifts for their partner or miracle cures to loneliness. Shelves started filling up with Valentine’s candy boxes before it was even Christmas morning, so there is a heavy element of enticing people to spend money. I think the holiday also comes with unspoken expectations and pressures which push people away from it. Single people are expected to find someone, and if they don’t, they’re expected to wallow in their sadness of not having a partner on this singular day. Couples are expected to give each other fantastic gifts and displays of love which can create tensions on expectations from individual partners. Many of these societal demands can make the holiday stressful, but I think it’s time to reclaim and love Valentine’s Day.
Before I profess my love for Valentine’s Day, let me preface that I may have some bias for loving the holiday, considering my birthday is the day before Valentine’s, so I’ve had a natural affinity for it. I’ve always loved the red and pink displays of color celebrating the holiday and making cards for friends and family, celebrating the love I had for them.
Valentine’s Day is all about love and the celebration of love, whether it is with your friends, family or a romantic partner. I think this is a beautiful holiday because it honors the love between people. It’s nice to have a holiday dedicated to celebrating those around you and the appreciation you have for them. Instead of focusing on a lack of love during Valentine’s Day and the need to have a relationship, I think it’s more important to celebrate the love you have in your life.
Appreciating love between people can happen in multiple ways throughout Valentine’s Day, from hosting a Galentine’s brunch with your friends — Leslie Knope style — to sending cards to relatives to honoring your relationship if you happen to be in one. Rather than forcing these expectations on ourselves for perfection for the holiday, if we just appreciate those in our life currently, it feels much more whole and enlightening than stressful and lonely.
Valentine’s is just such a cute holiday in general, from all the decorations and reds and pinks everywhere, to the hearts and balloons that cover the grocery stores. It brings a cozy and heartwarming light to winter, bringing us out of the holiday hiatus that made the month of January so cold and dark. With the celebration of a new holiday, we can make plans with ourselves and others, and recharge from the winter slump that always seems to occur in the first two months of the year. Holidays always have this sort of incentive to treat ourselves and I think Valentine’s Day is the most important holiday to do this.
Not only is Valentine’s Day about the love for others, it can also be about the love for yourself. You can celebrate yourself by taking the time to recharge and relax in the ways that work for you. Celebrating love in all walks of your life is exactly what Valentine’s Day is about, so make sure to treat yourself as well.
I’m going to defend Valentine’s Day as long as I live. We put so many demands on ourselves to live up to the holiday or have a relationship when we could really just sit back and celebrate the love we already have, rather than the love we lack. Looking at Valentine’s with a perspective of gratitude instead of lack is so important, especially when we receive social media messages that we’re lacking items, experiences or relationships on the daily. So, I advocate for this day and for its celebration.
Use the day to celebrate your loved ones, your friends, your family and mostly, yourself. Go out, stay in, watch a rom-com and order takeout, do whatever you want. Advocate for love in your life, starting with loving Valentine’s Day.