In an environment that encourages dating culture, I found myself constantly asking questions like: “why am I single? I feel like I have so much to offer, so why am I alone?,” and “If everyone around me has found their special person, why can’t I?” I spent years asking myself these same questions, over and over again. I thought to be single was the end of the world, and it has affected my self-esteem, self-worth, and eventually, my mental health. Until I realized that singleness, is the most important stage in my life and here are 5 reasons why:
1. Singleness gives you the opportunity to get to know yourself
As college students, we are in the most important years of our lives! In a society that is starting to put an emphasis on empowerment, it’s important now more than ever to have a solid sense of self. Being single gives us the chance to discover exactly who we are, and who we want to become. Use this time to get to know YOU! Whether it’s figuring out exactly what you’re passionate about, or what hobbies genuinely bring you joy, discover it in singleness and hold onto it! Going into a relationship with someone else while you’re still trying to figure out who you are is a recipe for disaster. Maximize your season of singleness by forming a strong sense of self, as well as defining your values, goals, morals, etc. When you know yourself, it’s easier to know what you want from someone else!
2. Self-love is formed when you’re single
From personal experience, I spent years viewing myself through the lens of others. I never truly loved myself for what I saw in me. It became toxic and resulted in me ending up in destructive situations. This is why self-love should be formed when you’re single! Keep the negative influences to a minimum and learn how to love yourself without the presence of another person. Loving yourself while you’re single is the most powerful life skill you can learn! It means that no matter what relationships enter or exit your life, the love for yourself will always remain! In order to love yourself while you’re in a relationship, it’s extremely important to love yourself while you’re single.
3. You have the chance to figure out exactly what you want in a relationship
It’s never good to enter into a relationship unsure of what you want from the other person! The best thing about being single is that along the way, you start to discover what you want or don’t want in a significant other. I’m not saying you’re 100% going to find someone who meets all of your qualifications, because nobody is perfect, but it’s a lot better to have an idea! A woman who knows what she wants is prepared to take on the world. Singleness is the perfect time to get a decent idea about what you’re looking for in a significant other, what you’re not looking for, and what your flat out deal breakers are. Don’t settle for just anyone because you’re tired of being alone! Take time to figure out what the ideal relationship would look like for you!
4. Embracing your independence increases growth
Not a lot of people are comfortable being alone or with doing things solo. How often do you see someone eat out in public alone? Or go see a movie by themselves? It’s very rare because we live in a society where those things are seen as weird or unacceptable. While you’re single, use this opportunity to get comfortable being alone! The gift of independence is one that should be cherished because when your significant other eventually does come along, you’ll be comfortable in your ability to be self-sufficient. Yes, the help and company will be there if you want it, but it won’t be something you’ll depend on to function.
So ladies, here’s the skinny: go out there and enjoy being single! It’s time to stop being afraid of your relationship status. Don’t look at being single as a weight on your shoulders, look at it as an opportunity to uplift and learn about yourself. The more you maximize your singleness, the more value you will bring to your relationship. It’s important to be single! So let’s embrace it!