I don’t understand the logic behind anyone assuming they are entitled to a type of behavior from another human being. Just because you shout out at me in the street, do you really think I am supposed to turn around and wave? Even when I don’t want to speak to you? It doesn’t make sense. And what’s worse is that the times women have decided to ignore a catcall or any man’s “flattery,” it sometimes ends horrifically.
Ruth George, a 19-year-old college student, tried to ignore catcalls on her way to her car in a parking garage, but unacceptably, her harasser grew angry and took her life, leaving her body in her own car later discovered by police. That is not okay. Nor is it okay that there are some women who actually believe they are obligated to provide certain acts to keep their man for fear of being abandoned. For too long, women have had to live according to the way men have imagined them to be. The image of women itself has become one none of us will ever be able to obtain.
Normal girls are not Barbies. And the Barbie types still receive criticism for not being good enough by men. The comparing and the nitpicking at every detail is so laughable because those doing these things would never like to be spoken about in the same way. And then they make us feel guilty for it! These are the kinds of preferences that make women naturally feel as though we are not good enough if we are heavier or don’t have the best skin. The most natural version of us is one that men seem to despise, and why? What for?
I wonder, is it the jealousy of knowing that if women really wanted to, they could end humanity simply by boycotting creating children? That power must really scare them. It must. Because why else would a man think that suppression is the only way we can all live in harmony? From consistently breaking glass ceilings to furthering the development of entire countries, women have proved their potential in every field.
We need to shift the restricting version of ‘female.’ Women are not only one thing, nor were they created to stay within the boundaries of what is expected of them either. They never really have been one thing, have they? Otherwise, how could people like Angela Davis or Toni Morrison exist? Even the phrase, “That could be your mother, sister, daughter… blah blah,” can be problematic because does a woman have to belong to someone for her life to matter?
We as independent beings have much more power than even we realize, and that’s the unfair part of it all. We have internalized the misogyny and without even thinking of it, live such exhausting lives. The idea that if we are not providing our male partners with sexual pleasures, we risk them receiving those pleasures from someone else is inherently sexist because the man is not even being held accountable for cheating. We are literally being told to expect cheating if we can’t keep up a sex drive. Insanity.
Ultimately, the only solution to this is teaching children young that there is no limit to what anyone can do, period. End of story. And the expectation of all people is to allow others to live in a space that feels safe and relevant to exist fully for both (or all) parties involved.