Why I'm Not Having Sex Until Marriage

It’s cuffing season and everyone around is either getting engaged, getting hitched or having babies. I’m in an extremely happy relationship with my boyfriend and things couldn’t be better, but I recently had someone come up to me and ask how it was in the bedroom. I audibly laughed. 

The choice to stay away from sex during a relationship is a very personal one. For me, it was how I was raised and how I was told that things should go. Honestly, for maybe a week or so in high school, in my teenage bliss, I thought it was bullcrap. I thought I knew better than my parents who had been married for over 20 years and had waited themselves. Thankfully, I didn’t do anything stupid and stayed true to their belief. Now that I am in my sophomore year of college, I am thinking back on the choice with adult eyes and pondering my own relationship.

Never in my life have I felt so full in a companionship, so why would I jump to the end and skip all of the best parts by giving myself up before he has the chance to commit to me. I didn’t even kiss my boyfriend until he asked my dad if he could date me.

I know, I sound super old fashioned, but have you ever wondered why relationships that started before the 60s worked out so well? I believe they were on to something and in order to avoid that 50 percent chance of divorce that elderly couples did not have, why not take it slow and enjoy each other's hearts before our parts. Some people may choose to have sex before marriage and that’s okay, too. Although it’s not what I chose, it can also lead to happy marriages.

I know that when I do get married to my boyfriend, it will be well worth the wait and our honeymoon will be exponentially more enjoyable than if we had done it all before the wedding. One of the appeals to me is also that I will still have more to learn about my spouse when we get married. Perhaps we’ll know everything about each other, but not physically, and that could keep the flame alive a whole lot longer than if I was already used to him physically.

Simply put, I want my marriage to be started with more to learn, more to enjoy and more to love. I still get temptations for sure, but when I remind myself of the reward, it’s well worth the wait.



Image Credits: Eleanor Ritzman and Shreya Susarla