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Why I Don’t Want A Big, Fat Indian Wedding

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at VCU chapter.

To many, the start of Fall brings pumpkin spice lattes, apple picking, Trader Joe’s trips and Halloween costume planning. To my family and many others, the nip in the air brings upon a different season: Indian wedding season. The Indian wedding season is truly a fun time to celebrate love and appreciate our culture. An Indian wedding can last from three days to even a full week. The wedding events are filled with cultural, religious, and even pre-wedding ceremonies to bless the married couple. You can expect multiple dance performances, music, food, beautiful decor, and maybe even the groom riding in on a horse. Guests arrive in traditional wear which is usually Sarees or Lehengas for women, and Kurtas or Sherwanis for men. The bride and groom are decked out in expensive jewelry and traditional wear often designed and shipped specially from India. 

There is a lot to love in an Indian wedding, but with all the extravagance and glamor, the cons of a big, fat Indian wedding are not always considered. Moreover, there is a certain pressure in Indian culture to have a grand wedding, even if that is not what the married couple wants. To the dismay of some of my family and friends, I don’t plan on having a big fat Indian wedding. 

Don’t get me wrong, this is not always what I had imagined for myself. Growing up, I dreamed of the grand fairytale Indian wedding. Now, my mind has completely changed for reasons beyond just the cost of it all. While cost is a significant factor, I still think there are many other reasons why having a small, intimate Indian wedding is beautiful. Here are some of my biggest reasons.

A more personal, intimate experience

I feel this is the most obvious pro of having a smaller wedding. At Indian weddings, it is necessary to greet all of the guests before having your own meal, if you even get a chance to eat. I’d rather have fewer guests that I get to actually spend substantial time with. At large Indian weddings, the bride and groom spend the majority of their time greeting guests, rather than actually getting to form memories with them and socialize. Plus, I love Indian food, and after all the planning, I want to have time to eat and enjoy my wedding food! 


I realized I wanted my wedding to be catered to the personalities of me and my future spouse. With a larger wedding, you need to cater to more needs and have more people to appease. With smaller weddings filled with the people who mean most to you, you have more room to be creative and make your wedding your own. 

More time for photos, speeches, and dances 

The best part of smaller weddings is that you spend more time making memories with fewer guests. There is more time available for pictures, intimate speeches, and fun dances. Guests can feel more comfortable with a smaller crowd. I know I would feel more comfortable dancing at my wedding with guests I know well. Even for speeches and vows, I would be able to make more jokes and tell more anecdotes knowing that no one at my wedding would be judging me since these people are my closest family and friends. 

Those are my three biggest reasons for wanting a smaller, more intimate wedding. Having a small wedding is a personal choice to me, but I encourage you to do what feels right for you. If you dream of a fairytale wedding, then that is what you should do! How you conduct your wedding is a choice between you and your partner and should be what makes the both of you happy, not what makes others happy. I hope you all do get the chance to experience an Indian wedding. Indian weddings are truly a beautiful experience and it makes me proud to be a part of such rich culture and tradition. Cheers to the Indian wedding season! 

Hi, my name is Namitha and I am a sophomore at VCU majoring in Biology. I believe writing has the power to move people and make the world a better place. I love watching shows, specifically murder mysteries. In my free time, you'll find me at the mall, gym, or napping on my couch.