Domestic violence, also known as dating violence, is an issue that every young woman should be aware of. This is a problem that happens within more college relationships than you think. According to acadv.org, 1 in 5 college females will experience some kind of dating violence. If there is even a possibility that you are in an abusive relationship, or know someone who is, you should know exactly what to look for in the abuser and the victim.
The warning signs of an abusive partner can be very obvious. First and foremost, the abuser will often appear to be extremely controlling. From the clothes you wear to who you are hanging out with, abusive partners will feel as though they are entitled to control everything in their partner’s life. Sometimes they will even start fights just to eventually feel as though they have the upper hand in the relationship. Forcefulness of any kind is also abuse. Abusive partners will try to force their boyfriend or girlfriend to do just about anything they say, including having sex with them. You must know that they are very insecure people, and they get the upmost satisfaction by making others feel weak. Controlling relationships are abusive relationships too.
Abusers often have jealous personalities, showing extreme fear that their partner is having a romantic interest in another person. They will question almost everyone you are around, whether it’s an acquaintance or long-term friend. Many abusers will even go through their partner’s phone or e-mail. They see others as competition for your affection toward them. They will attempt to isolate you not only from people they are jealous of, but from your close friends and family as well. Cutting off your support system makes it easier for the abuser to manipulate you, tricking you into believing that you have no one else. Abusers will absolutely make the victim feel as though his or her feelings do not matter and that they know best.
Physical abuse is the most obvious, not to mention the most dangerous warning sign. Chris Brown and Rihanna’s dispute is an extreme example of domestic violence, but it usually begins with your partner doing something such as grabbing your arm or shoving you during an argument. Any unwanted touching should be the absolute red flag for you. If the abuse is especially physical, they will try to make it up to you with presents or apologizing in an over-the-top way. This is what keeps the victim coming back. Abusers will say the five simple words: “it will never happen again,” and the cycle starts all over again. Perhaps the victim is even too scared to leave because of the fact that they don’t know what their abuser is capable of.
Whether physically or emotionally abused, victims find it almost impossible to remove themselves from the situation.
If any of these signs sound familiar, know that there is help out there. A victim of domestic violence needs to have as much support around them as possible. Turning to a good friend or family member is a helpful first step. There is help and you aren’t in it alone. Thehotline.org is a national website for domestic violence, with a twenty-four hour number for victims of violence to call. Information on local domestic violence support groups and agencies is also available on silcom.com.
The sources are the following websites:
http://www.acadv.org/dating.html
http://www.thehotline.org/get-educated/what-is-domestic-violence/