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What to Consider & Why NOT to Have a “Sex Buddy”

Having casual sex with a guy friend may seem like a very harmless thing. Perhaps you’re just trying to have fun and don’t need the complications of a relationship right now; however, have you thought about the possibility that having sex without commitment could actually make things more difficult? Here are a few thoughts to think about if you do have a sex buddy, or are simply considering one.

Being in college, we are all aware that sex is a very common thing. This is a time for experimentation, learning new things, and finding out who you are as a person. Hopefully you are also aware that there is always the chance of getting pregnant if you ever have sex. Sex is risky at any time because contraception is not one hundred percent dependable. If your form of birth control were to fail and you aren’t even in a serious relationship, who’s to say this guy won’t handle it in an immature way, or even handle it at all? If you have sex without commitment from the beginning, there is also a chance there will be no commitment if you become pregnant. Having a sex buddy is not the same has having sex with a boyfriend (if you choose to have sex at all). When you have sex with boyfriend, and it’s a stable and healthy relationship, there is a better chance of him being supportive and helpful if you were to get pregnant. A sex buddy has no commitment to you, so there is a strong chance he won't be there for you if an unplanned pregnancy occurs. 

How completely sure can you be that you are his only sex buddy? A relationship makes it so that you have a solid commitment as partners. Sex outside of a relationship is tricky because there is no commitment. If a person has multiple sex partners, there is obviously a higher chance of him or her contracting a STD. Based on the information of NursingSchools.net, 1 in4 college students has an std. That being said, let me reinforce the fact that condoms are not one hundred percent dependable! There is always a chance of a condom breaking or just simply not protecting you from certain diseases. You should always be extremely careful when it comes to who you’re having sex with, especially if you’re not even dating them. It is safer to just assume that you can’t trust that they won’t sleep with anyone else. No one can protect your body better than you can.

The last, but certainly not least important point you should consider
when having a sex buddy, is that chances of you getting hurt are still very high. Being a female myself, I will be the first to admit that I have a tendency to often think with my heart and not my head. We are extremely emotional beings, and different from males in that it is much easier for them to not form an attachment through sex. According to sex therapist Ian Kerner, it has been scientifically proven that females’ emotions are involuntarily present during, and especially after sex. In his article on MSNBC.com, he notes that “…the female orgasm releases a burst of oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone.” So there you have it. Apparently there is a “post-orgasm regret”, whereas the moment you realize the sex didn’t really mean anything, you feel empty and used. Is the sex with this guy even worth it at that point? Along with protecting your body, you certainly need to protect your feelings.

Hopefully after reading this, you are more aware of what is at risk if you have a sex buddy.  Having sex with no committed relationship behind it could definitely add on to the pressures and complications of college. No one’s saying you shouldn’t enjoy these amazing years, just make sure you protect yourself and make the best decisions possible.


"10 Truly Shocking Stats On STDs and College Students." Nursing School Blog. Nursing Schools, May 17th, 2010. Web. 15 Nov. 2011.

Kerner, Ian. "Can you (and should you) have sex like a man? ." msnmsnbc.com Today Sex Rx with Ian Kerner. 19 Feb 2009: n. page. Web. 15 Nov. 2011.

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