Everyone we meet in this life leaves an imprint on us, no matter if we strongly dislike them or if they are our favorite people. We pick up small traits, phrases, jokes and routines; we are collages of everyone we have ever crossed paths with. As much as we can try to prevent it, our family has the biggest impact on us.
There’s no doubt that the women who grow us and raise us, no matter how good or bad of a job they do, have an effect on our personality or our peculiar traits. Once I entered my teen years and grew out of the “my mom’s my best friend” phase, I quickly became embarrassed of the woman I received my life’s blood from. Her booming laugh, her obnoxious jokes, the fact she could never keep quiet for too long, her need to photograph every second of life, her extreme lack of a filter, etc. Most of these qualities I used to shame her for, but I am now seeing take hold in my own personality.
My mom and I have gone through a lot in this life. Some things we’ve gone through separately, some things together, some things she has put me through, and I have not been the most forgiving. No matter how difficult my relationship has been with my mom, or what we have gone through, I cannot help but find comfort in the ways we are similar. I think turning into our mothers is something inevitable.
We are extremely different people, we have had abstract experiences from one another, have different ideals, and enjoy different things, but at the end of the day, we are so blindingly alike. A few years ago, if I had noticed my laugh sounding too much like hers, I would cut it short and make sure to never do it again. If one of my jokes landed with her exact comedic timing, I’d feel instant regret. But, after growing up a bit, healing from my past, and forgiving what I can, I now find comfort in our similarities.
Watching my mom age and complain about each new wrinkle; comparing herself to her own mother, somewhat made me dread one day turning into her. Now, thanks to maturing, I no longer fear one day looking like my mom; the woman who my adolescent self thought was the most beautiful person in the world. Whenever I am missing her, or feeling upset or lost, I am able to feel comforted knowing she is always with me. When I laugh like her, tell a joke like her, or when my mouth runs a bit too much, I now feel at ease instead of shameful.
Turning into not only our mothers but friends and others we cross paths with is a beautiful thing, it’s a quirk of life that makes me happy. The next time you say a joke you got from an old friend, or laugh like your mom, lean into it, and allow yourself to take a moment and cherish the reminder of them, and memories that come with them.