Thanksgiving, lacking in Halloween’s showmanship and Christmas’s glamour, is often overlooked. But Thanksgiving has both holidays beat in one category…the food. So while everyone else is getting all holly and jolly, let’s rank which Thanksgiving foods are a cut above the rest and which don’t even make the cut. Here’s Thanksgiving food ranked from the worst to the best, and remember…
20. Tofurkey
It maybe an easy target, but let’s face it tofurkey is an…acquired taste to say the least. To say the most, it tastes like sadness. Bland with an odd texture…not exactly the highlight of a Thanksgiving feast.
19. Carrots
Being excited for the carrots at Thanksgiving is like going to Disneyworld and being excited for waiting in line. Let’s face it, no one ever looks forward to the carrots. No. One.
18. Stuffing
I can’t be the only one who finds stuffing to be massively over-hyped. Yes, that includes the instant Stove Top brand. Y’all can keep your soggy bread. Next.
17. Creamed Corn
Creamed corn is a struggle meal, and not meant to be at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Cancelled.
16. Yams
No amount of marshmallows will make this stuff taste right. Is it dessert? Is it an entree? I don’t trust it.
15. Green Bean Casserole
The minute that all the onion crisps are gone, this dish goes from bomb to inedible. Hope you enjoy green bean, mushroom mush.
14. Pecan Pie
Pecan pie is the bran muffin of Thanksgiving desserts.
13. Cornbread
Corn bread is solid and dependable. It’s not the best, but NOT the worst. It’s the John Krasinski of Thanksgiving food.
12. Collard Greens
Any dish with bacon is an automatic winner, especially when you put bacon on top of veggies.
11. Sweet Potato Pie
Sweet Potato pie is a Thanksgiving classic. Pie is definitely sweet potatoes best form.
10. Corn on the Cob
Beginning our top ten is the American classic, corn on the cob. Buttery, sweet and juicy, corn on the cob is a banger.
9. Turkey
Sort of here out of obligation, a Thanksgiving without turkey is blasphemous. However, in the wrong hands, the meat can become Popeyes’ biscuits level of dry. Proceed with caution.
8. Ham
Ham is better than turkey, I’m just going to say it. It’s moister and you can make a killer hambone soup afterwards. It’s a win/win.
7. Cranberry Sauce
Don’t lie, you know when you see that Ocean Spray cranberry loaf, you get excited. Jellied cranberry sauce is slept on.
6. Rolls
Crescent, garlic-butter or yeast, you can never go wrong with a good roll. Bring on the carbs, bay-beh!
5. Mashed Potatoes
Mashed potatoes are so versatile. You can have creamy, lumpy, with chives and bacon or just with a lil bit of gravy. Any and all mashed potatoes are delicious.
4. Gravy
Now you’re probably wondering, “why didn’t you just add gravy to the mashed potatoes category?” Because, that’s how much I love gravy. Gravy is liquid magic.
3. Apple Pie
Call me Jim Levenstein because I love me an apple pie.
2. Pumpkin Pie
If autumn had a taste, it would be pumpkin pie. Creamy, cinnamony and not too sweet, it’s everything you want in a pie.
1. Mac and Cheese
Baked mac and cheese is the Beyoncé of Thanksgiving food. No matter what it’s paired with, it simultaneously compliments and outshines it. It’s a dish that nearly anyone can make. The king of sides dishes.
Well, there you have it, one fat*ss’ opinion among many. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
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