Dear Masculinity:
It’s impossible for me to look like your celebrity crush. It sucks to have to spend hours at a time in the mirror and it still not be good enough for you. To go un-noticed all of the time because I am either too tall, short, reserved or too opinionated. Inside I’m crushed, but physically, thanks to pounds of makeup, waist trainers and lots of time spent at the gym, I am physically appealing.
I have ears that work and they hear your harsh words in conversation about my rank on all of your cutie meters. Your idea of femininity just isn’t cutting it anymore. Here’s my list of demands: I want to wear khaki shorts and jordans with socks that do not match and still be attractive. It is a struggle coming so close to breaking my legs every time I put my feet in heels. I’d love to drink ounces of muscle milk or protein shakes and have muscles bigger than yours and have you not be intimidated.
Personally I do not want to be a contortionist in the shower anymore; having to shave every natural grown hair on my body is uncomfortable and not to mention extremely hard to reach. Instead, I want underarm hair that’s long enough to braid. My drains will thank me later. I also wish I could burp, spit and fart when I feel like it and it not feel like I’m being repulsive.
Oh yeah, guys we get cold too! Let us freely put our hands in our pants and hug and shake hands with friends a minute later without having to wash our hands too. Lastly, some of us are tired of always feeling the need to have perfectly pedicured feet. The pedicures tickle and we know the workers are talking about us too.
In closing, I want you to know that my self love is what makes me lovable, so take me as I am.
.