In case no one has told you before, being a college student is hard. This is the one period in all of our lives where we get sort of a “preview” into full-fledged adulthood. We learn more about ourselves, what we like, what we want out of life and the type of people that we would like to share these new experiences with.
With that being said, there is a whole other element that is introduced into the mix along with this new lifestyle that we are learning to live: relationships.
Relationships, no matter platonic (friends, acquaintances) or romantic (partners, crushes, etc.), are important and healthy for us to have as human beings. It is also important that we maintain a healthy balance between the two types, if we are actively participating in both platonic and romantic relationships.
Some of us, however, are somewhere in-between on the romantic relationship side. This could be a friend with benefits, or you may be hesitant to put a label on anything at the moment, which is perfectly fine and normal for many people in our age demographic and beyond.
Then there are those of us who may feel slightly overwhelmed by the many types of romantic relationships going on around them and aren’t sure how to approach the topic. For example, one may be thinking: “is it weird if I don’t have anyone?” Or even, “How do relationships in college even work anyway? Is it even worth it to get invested now?” These are all good questions to ask.
If you or anyone you know is pondering on pursuing a romantic connection with someone, it’s important to be clear and set up boundaries to avoid any confusion. You deserve to be in control of what YOU want, and it’s normal to sometimes not be entirely sure on what you want, which is why communication between both parties is important.
I’ve learned this and many people tell me: it’s okay to not be experienced sexually. It may seem like everyone around you is having sex, but in reality, there are still a lot of people on college campuses around the country who have decided to not have sex for certain reasons, or do not feel that they are ready yet. Again, this is completely normal. Some people would like to have their sexual “debut” with someone who they have a strong connection with, while others are not as concerned, as long as they are in control of what they are willing to do or not do.
Sometimes people find “the one” in college, some don’t. I usually like to think of these factors being left in the hands of fate, but sometimes the reality is that not everyone is mentally or emotionally ready to enter a steady relationship. Some people just want to experience the sexual side of romantic encounters, while some want to find someone that they have a deep connection with. Everyone is looking for different things.
So, there is no clear answer to if it is worth it or not to get invested in a college relationship, because there is always the unknown in terms of what could happen down the road. However, it would be a good idea to gauge the person’s motives if you both have a mutual attraction towards each other, to understand more clearly what is going on in the relationship dynamic. That way there isn’t any miscommunication or awkwardness in the beginning of the relationship.
If you choose to wait until after college, to start a relationship that’s perfectly fine, too. There are no strict timelines or guidelines that need to be followed. You are the most important person in your life, first and foremost. It is important to listen to your gut, because there is a 99.99 percent chance that it is right.
The main thing to remember from all of this is that as human beings, we are all in different places in life. We all want different things. It’s perfectly okay to have emotions, and it’s perfectly fine to want to have those emotional needs met. If you want to wait, then that’s fine too. Just do what makes you feel the best, mentally, physically and emotionally.
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