I have always been a caring person and have always tended to help others. There’s nothing wrong with being caring and helping people, especially in the world we live in. But there comes a point when people take your kindness for granted, walk all over you and you reach your breaking point.
I don’t remember the specific moment where I realized I needed to stop letting people walk all over me. I just remember thinking:
“Would this person do the same for me?”
“Why am I doing this for a person I’m barely friends with?”
“Why am I doing this when I already have a lot on my plate?”
When I couldn’t find an answer to any of those questions, I decided it was time to finally grow a backbone. It was time for people to stop taking me for granted constantly.
Here are five things that are helping me to learn to not let people walk all over me:
1. Stand up for yourself
Don’t let people say rude and condescending things to you. Obviously don’t be drama queen and fight them. Instead, respond with a sassy response or take them aside and solve the issue. There are times when it’s better to just be quiet and let it go, but if you do that every time people view you as weak.
2. Stop doing people so many favors
It’s perfectly fine to do people favors every now and then, especially when it’s a close friend and you know they’d do the same for you. But stop doing favors for people who take you for granted because they know you always do favors for others.
3. Say “no”
Saying no is a major way to stop people from walking all over you and your life. Don’t want to do a favor for someone? Say no. Don’t have time to do something? Say no. Just generally don’t want to do something? Say no. You don’t live to please others.
4. Find balance in relationships
Always do nice things for your friends or S.O. and never get anything in return? Stop doing them. Find balance in your relationships and treat them the same way they treat you. Sometimes it’s okay to go the extra mile to show someone you care, but not all time.
5. Stop caring what people think
This is probably the hardest thing to learn how to do, but it makes your life so much better. No more senseless worrying about the way people look at you. Start walking down the street listening to your favorite song, and you’ll feel confident to take on your day and ignore any judgments.
When you’re a people pleaser, it’s easy to let people step all over you like a doormat or a busy sidewalk. But after a while, you will start to feel the negative effects and feel used by others. Since following these steps, I’ve noticed that I’m happier and more fearless. If you have troubling saying no and turning down doing favors for others, take it from me and learn to change for the better.