Q: So my boyfriend has been preparing three weeks in advance for “No Shave November” and I want to tell him that I hate the beard but I don’t know how to say it without insulting him. please help SOS a girl who hates the smell of cottage cheese beard.
Conversations like this can be very tricky, but also very important in a relationship. The important thing to remember is how you would feel if the situation was reversed and he was offering a critique on your appearance. The best way to talk about it is if he asks for your opinion. Don’t lie, but remember to speak from love. Instead of telling him you hate his beard, tell him how much you love his face or like the feel of his freshly shaved face. Ultimately, you have to decide if your thoughts on his beard are worth hurting his feelings or causing a fight, should you decide to initiate a conversation about it. If it’s important for you to tell him, offer a compliment to him, but subtly let him know that you prefer him without a beard. If he gets hurt or defensive, don’t push the matter because it is his body and his choice.
It may also help you to know that “No Shave November” is done in support of men’s health issues, much like we do things to raise awareness for breast cancer research. The idea behind it is that the money saved not buying shaving equipment will be donated to support men’s health. Not everyone who participates in “No Shave November” does it for these reasons, but you don’t want to insult his efforts if they are to help. Have a conversation with him about what you can both do together to work toward the cause!
Q: I know someone who is having trouble maintaining a long distance relationship she wants to break up due to the difficulty, but her boyfriend who is on the other side of the U.S. wants to keep going. Neither of them seem to want to work things out. They are both persistent and want to either stop or go. What do you suggest they do? How can I help them?
Long distance relationships are never easy and lack of good communication makes things worse. If your friend and her boyfriend aren’t on the same page, it may be because they haven’t set time aside to properly talk things through. I would suggest they make an effort to Skype so they can talk.
Trust is another key to making long distance relationships work. If your friend and her boyfriend don’t trust one another that can lead to arguments, and the relationship falls apart. Talking about their trust issues to one another may help their relationship. It doesn’t sound easy, and it isn’t but it’s necessary that they both know how the other feels.
If your friend wants to be free to meet other guys, or she just wants to live the single life, she has to tell her boyfriend. The longer she beats around the bush, the harder it will be for both of them.
You can help your friend by telling her she needs to talk to her boyfriend and that she needs to stay true to herself. If they aren’t able to work things out by talking – they should talk more than once – then she has to break it off. Your friend needs to make sure she stays healthy and happy.
I hope it all works out!
Q: I really want to do something special for my boyfriend to show him I appreciate and still love him (we are long distance and don’t see each other often), but I don’t have a lot of money to spend. I’ve thought about getting him a flower, but I don’t know if that is too weird. Any advice on what I could do?
Long-distance is no fun, but luckily there are a lot of cheap things you can do to let him know he’s on your mind and how much he means to you! Flowers are definitely an option. Everyone, regardless of gender, likes being sent stuff out of the blue—and if you want it to be flowers, go ahead and send them!
That’s not your only option though. Put together a small, cheap care package filled with little trinkets that remind you of him—his favorite candy, a picture of you two, a physical representation of an inside joke, a mix CD, etc. Themed care packages (Halloween, your anniversary, Christmas, etc) are also an option, though those can get a little pricey.
Letter-writing is another option. In this age of technology, the love letter has gone by the wayside, and I guarantee your beau would appreciate a hand-written letter explaining how much you love and appreciate him. That way, you could look back and reread your letters to each other and remember how much you love each other.
If you aren’t the gushy-letter type, print out your favorite picture of you two and put it in a cheap, wooden frame (available at Walmart or other crafting stores) which you can decorate with paint, stickers, or a collage. I can promise he’ll look at your handcrafted gift and feel how much you love him, no matter how far he is.
No matter what you send him, I guarantee he’ll appreciate it and know it came from the heart. He’ll feel how much you still love and appreciate him, no matter how cheap or expensive your gift is.
Like what you read? Want to hear what our Her Campus VCU girls have to say about your situation? Submit your questions anonymously here!