Dear April,
I never thought that the first funeral I’d go to was yours. Never in a million years.
When I first met you I was so afraid that you wouldn’t like me. We met briefly in our sophomore year of high school because of show choir, but once we got to know each other it was like we never stopped.
Our junior year of high school came and I remember our friendship beginning. I don’t even remember how we began talking, but I know that we began to get close after we went to our friend’s Christmas party. It began as I was working at a local theater dressing up in a bear suit as “Snow Bear.” I got paid twenty-five dollars an hour for it, so as much as you laughed at me I was getting money for it. We went through a phase where we were obsessed with going to this stand where they would print photos out from your phone and put them onto a button. You did that with so many pictures of me as a joke.
Do you remember Pancho? Our fake pet piñata that you, Lali and I would carry around. You two used him to ask me to prom my junior year of high school, and I will never forget him. We even had a miniature Pancho that lived in our dorm room, but I’ll save our first year of college for later.
My junior year of high school I decided not to do show choir anymore. Do you remember how badly you cried? I promised you we would still talk even if we had no classes together, and I like to think I lived up to that promise.
You and I began to hang out and talk more the summer before our senior year of high school. We would go to Shyndigz and P.F. Chang’s all of the time to talk about anything and everything.
In our AP Environmental class we were always seen together. I remember our teacher telling you to turn around almost all of the time because of how much we wished we were in assigned seats together. We always had something to talk about, and we were always creating spontaneous trips for us to go on after class or for the upcoming weekend.
Do you remember my mom curling your hair for homecoming our senior year? You borrowed my earrings and you and I had the best time together. April, you danced like nobody was watching and I have always been in awe of you for that. Even if anybody was, you had no care in the world.
You were the most interesting driver. I remember when we were driving together once you got into the shoulder behind a random car that was pulled over on the highway. I was laughing so hard because I was so confused as to why you pulled over behind a random car. You thought it was a lane of traffic—I remember we thought it was so funny. I was never scared though. Until you totaled your car… then I was scared of you for a little bit. You made me laugh so hard as you would always be blasting 2000’s music in the car. The most memorable ones were always “Like a G6,” “Hotel Room Service” and “Hips Don’t Lie.”
When the pandemic hit, we were so afraid about losing our senior year. Five months later, we were moving into our college dorm together. I remember our first night together and the excitement of finally feeling like adults and moving out. Within the first week we were dancing in the bedroom mirrors, playing music with my galaxy lights shining and jumping on our dorm beds. I will say, for the little real “college” experience that we had our freshman year, we really did everything we could to give each other that experience.
We were the iconic duo. We did absolutely everything together: from exploring campus, going on random trips to thrift stores, swiping on our meal plans, the mall, Targets, Sonic, running in the pouring rain playing ‘Ribs’ by Lorde or just road trips where we had no destination. It was hard to find us apart. Even when we had Zoom classes, chances were that we were talking to each other.
Isn’t it crazy we only hugged once? You were comforting me when I was upset and in a time of need. I would do anything to give you another hug. You also told me you loved me once even when I told you it all of the time. That was pretty crazy.
You never left my side even when I had to work night shifts. Even when it was midnight and I had to walk a couple of blocks home. April, you allowed me to have a friend to walk with late at night. You and I stayed up till 3AM (when I wasn’t on the verge of passing out) to play video games together on my tiny monitor. I have my best memories with you.
You were painfully blunt. An Aries in the flesh. You knew how to cut tension from a situation and create humor from any place you found it. You are the funniest person I have ever met.
Thank you for teaching me how to put air in my tires. Thank you for teaching me how to stop caring about what people think about me. Thank you for always being my hype woman.
I’m really not ready to grow older without you. I know how excited we both were to live together this upcoming Fall. I am scared of becoming older and my memories of you lessening. My stories with you will always fill me with joy, we were so much more than just photos. You complete me, and you will forever have a piece of my heart. I will carry you with me wherever I go.