Even as a little kid, I was obsessed with the Royal Family. I was obsessed with Princess Di (RIP) conspiracy theories, stalking where Will and Harry went and the Queen’s perfectly coordinated pastel outfits. I went into school late the day of the Royal Wedding, so that I could watch all of it and still regularly stalk the @kensingtonroyal Instagram account. I achieved my lifelong dream of going to London and seeing Buckingham and Kensington Palaces and dreamt about marrying Prince Harry.
Which is why it was absolutely heartbreaking when I heard of his engagement to American actress Meghan Markle. Here were the five stages of hearing he was engaged to someone who isn’t me:
1. Disbelief
Um, I’m sorry, what? He’s engaged to WHO? The United Kingdom’s most eligible bachelor and the love of my life is GETTING MARRIED?
2. Denial
No, there’s no way. Some grocery store publication is spreading this as a rumor. There’s no way. They haven’t even been together for that long!
3. More denial
Okay, so the @kensingtonroyal account confirmed it, they have an interview on NBC about how blissfully happy they are, her ring is all over the Internet and they already have a day set. But I still think it’s just a publicity stunt.
4. Refusal
Okay, yes, I understand that this isn’t just a publicity stunt. I understand that her ring features two diamonds from Princess Diana’s private diamond collection. I understand that she is planning on becoming a British citizen and being baptized into the Church of England. BUT I STILL DON’T WANT TO BELIEVE IT, OKAY? LET ME LIVE.
5. Grudging acceptance
Okay, I can’t live in my fantasy world forever. I guess as long as Prince Harry is happy, that’s really all that matters, right? As well as knowing that he wouldn’t be marrying her if he knew me…
So, when’s the Royal wedding? Am I invited?