When we were little, we watched all sorts of Disney movies promoting fairytale endings and romance. We freely professed our love to our kindergarten and first grade boyfriends and believed that we were all princesses worthy of our own Prince Charmings.
Somewhere in middle school, however, things began to change. As the boys we once knew turned into young men, they became much more interested in being cool and hanging with the guys than finding a girlfriend. In high school, we had our hearts broken countless times in the effort to attain that perfect quarterback-cheerleader relationship. Some girls were lucky- they had no trouble finding prom dates and Valentine’s Day bouquets. But the rest of us dealt with high school because we knew, or at least hoped, that things would change in college. Like our parents and neighbors, we’d meet our dream guy in history class, take him to sorority formals and family brunches, and finally marry him in the fairytale wedding of our dreams.
Upon reaching Vanderbilt, I had high hopes. After experiencing mostly heartbreak in high school, I couldn’t wait to meet the attractive, intelligent, and mature guys I thought existed in college. While I did meet one such guy at the beginning of school, my tryst with him was short-lived and prompted my entrance into the hookup culture. Let me say, right now, that I’m not proud of my actions last semester. But I can say confidently that they led me to where I am today.
The hookup culture is a dangerous thing. At first it seems super casual, meeting cute guys at frat parties and having some short-lived fun with them. And that’s fine, to a point. But when you keep hooking up with people you don’t care about, or get put into a situation where you like a someone who calls you his “dirty little secret,” things get a little unfortunate. I have always had problems with confidence, but first semester, I hit an all-time low. I felt worthless, unloved, and disgusting. Instead of fixing my problems, I would mask my feelings through drinking and finding a guy who could make me feel attractive for a night. I lost all hope of finding anyone I could ever truly date in college. Love was out of the question.
Then, I met someone who changed everything. Despite my interest in another guy, quite possibly the biggest douche in the history of douches, my current boyfriend pursued me for several weeks before I gave him a chance. But after inviting him to my sorority date party, we made it Facebook official within the week. With him, once we started spending time together, there was never a question. He actually liked me, and told me so. I felt amazing when we were together and couldn’t stop smiling when we weren’t. He took me on dates and wasn’t afraid to make long-term plans with me or kiss me in public. I had never experienced that until I met him. I still can hardly believe how happy I am- it actually feels like a dream.
While some of you out there might think I’m just lucky or the exception to the rule, I want to encourage every one of you to remain hopeful. Two months ago, I was that girl getting booty-called at two in the morning, wondering if my life would ever amount to something more. There is nothing inherently special about me, and I am no different from any of you. I’m just a normal girl who met a great guy, and trust me, they exist.
I understand that in college, the hookup culture is prevalent. But if every morning, you wake up feeling like trash, it’s time to make a change. Hooking up with a random guy isn’t going to boost your confidence or make you feel better after a rough week. It’s a short-term fix that contributes to a long-term problem. PLEASE, love yourself more than that. Don’t let guys treat you badly and don’t pursue a guy if all of your friends hate him; I didn’t listen to any of my friends when they said my ex-hookup was a prick, and I ended up in a horrible situation because of it.
We ARE all unique and we deserve much more than one-night stands and hookups that amount to nothing. Don’t accept less because it’s all you can get right now- hold out for that guy who makes you feel like a princess.
So wait for your Prince Charming. Because trust me, he’s out there.
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