The Struggle of Being an Introvert

Everybody has their days where they just want to be left alone. My days just last a little bit longer. I never knew I was an introvert until I came to college and saw how people always wanted to be around others. Freshman year, students wanted to connect with others while I was trying to connect with myself.

I’ve always been an awkward person and part of me being an introvert is just avoiding awkward situations. I’m the socially awkward kid that says something that you might not get and now I’m a weirdo. Over the years, I’ve changed my reason for my lack of communication. For me, being an introvert is a way for me to develop my mind, body and soul. When you are always in contact with people are you really thinking for yourself? Are your ideas really yours or did they bounce off of someone else’s? How can one meditate with the world’s noises all around them? I just see my personal time as time to improve myself and focus...

Going from class to work there is plenty of human contact in my day.  By the time I get home all I want to do is be left alone. Sometimes it is a struggle just to try and not make it seem like I hate the human race. I just don’t feel like talking. Sometimes I put on headphones and don’t play music just so people don’t speak to me. Call me horrible, but sometimes I physically don’t want to speak (As I type this article someone comes up to me and asked, “Erika why are you sitting by yourself?”).

No one knows you are an introvert until it’s too late and everyone thinks you’re a mean person. Just having to explain why I am the way I am is automatically forcing me out of my comfort zone. The biggest struggle is with extroverted friends. I often have to sit them down and explain that I don’t hate them, it’s just at time I just prefer the company of myself. Relationships can be even worse if you don’t find someone who truly understands you and your habits. I always get the “Why are you ignoring me?” or “Who else you talking to?” mess when in reality I’m sitting here reading or book or doing my nails....

Now, I must clarify that this is not a 24/7 thing. There are times when I love being around people and learning new things from them. Other days not so much. I am seeking to be in a profession where all I do is talk to people on a daily and I’m totally fine with that. I actually love it. I think my introvertness kicks in when I have free time. I have to option of sitting alone and not dealing with other or kicking it with the homies.

So, when you meet someone who is a little "shy" or "anti-social" try and understand where they are coming from. Not everyone is super social. Don’t smother them but also don’t make them feel like an outcast. Especially if you are friends! Just know that some days they will just say hi and others they will chat you up for hours.

HCXO!