No one wants to be that friend that is always the bearer of bad news, but let’s face it: we all have stumbled upon some kind of vital information that had the probability of ruining a friendship. Every relationship should be built on trust and honesty; therefore, telling your friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her would be the moral thing to do. When the truth isn’t so pretty, it’s definitely not the easiest thing to tell. Regardless, no matter how angry or sad your friend may become, you’re doing the right thing by letting her know.
1. YOU MUST BE RIGHT.
First off, make sure you are right. Do not trust information that came from Nicole’s cousin Ashley, whom you know has a crush on your friend’s boyfriend. You have to recieve the information first-hand. Take a picture or a video; the more evidence, the better. However, do not approach him. As much as we like to be Captain-Save-My-Bestfriend, we have to have boundaries and we need to let her handle the situation as she sees fit.
Make sure it’s indispensable; him talking to a girl at a bar is not the same as him all over some girl in the corner. Guys know how to play it smart, so don’t let him be able to explain himself out of the situation. Catch the perpetrator red handed.
2. TELL YOUR FRIEND.
This is going to be the hard part. You must be sensitive to the situation. As her friend, your mindset should be, “I caught him and he must be taken DOWN,” but you have to also realize this is going to hurt her, especially if they have been together for a while. Call her or text her and let her know you have something to tell her. Don’t just send her the pictures without any warning or send her a 5-paragraph text message.
Put yourself in her shoes and imagine how you would feel. Maybe you’ve been in her place before and you know how it feels, and in that case you know it’s not easy hearing that your boyfriend is cheating on you. It’s humiliating, heart-breaking and, if she loves that person, it could be one of the worst feelings of her life.
3. STAND BY YOUR WORD.
No matter what her feelings are, you must stand by your word. Expect that you’re not going to be her boyfriend’s favorite person after all of this and if you both were really good friends, that may not go so well. Remember this is not about him, this is about your loyalty to your friend. Even worse though, she may blow up at you or she may not believe you.
That’s why the first step is very important. You must be sure of what you saw. You make this big ordeal about him hugging some girl at the bar only to find out it was his cousin; don’t be the “miserable friend.”
4. BE THERE FOR HER.
After all is said and done, you must be there for her. If she needs to curse, cry or scream in the heat of the moment, be there for her. If she needs retail therapy, be there for her. If she needs a girl’s night out, be there for her. If she chooses to forgive him and it’s as if you never should have told her in the first place, still be there for her.
No one is perfect, just like no relationship is perfect and we have all been there and done that. We have been lied to, cheated on, witnessed the cheating and maybe have done some dirt ourselves. As a true friend all we can do is be there to support her. We must respect those boundaries within our friendships and play our roles.