“Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.”
Sitting behind my keyboard, I’ve noticed that people generally speak their minds more candidly on social media than through any other form of communication. This is because our profiles open the door to a world of self-expression and what can easily be free of judgement at the click of the “delete” or “block” button. But what worries me is that people don’t take a few moments to actively think about what they are trying to say before they share it with the world.
In regards to “feminism”, women have varying opinions on male privilege and patriarchy, whether it be that they view men as equal to them or utterly beneath them. Regardless of their sentiment, they’ll all tag #feminist at the end of their rant. But this is when we need to get back to the root of the word, the true meaning of its intentions.
Our forceful opinions as women drive men to believe that feminism is aimed at belittling men when it’s not. Every #feminist tweet doesn’t get the feminist stamp of approval. A woman can say she’s a feminist all she wants but that doesn’t actually make her one. I can call myself a realist all day and all night, but if I’m constantly painting heart-shaped clouds in the sky and magenta unicorns on land, I’m not much of a realist, am I?
Even two women who both identify as true feminists may lead completely different lives. There are so many subcategories to feminism that for one to say he or she absolutely doesn’t agree with feminism at all is absurd. Unless, of course, you believe that women should go back to the kitchen where they belong. But if you believe in gender equality, then generally you believe in some form of feminism.
Female anti-feminists are only OK-ing the right to be oppressed, which is mainly what feminism is against. (What astonishes me about women who are anti-feminists is the fact that their right to voice their uninformed opinions was only afforded to them because of the victories of feminists themselves.)
Regardless of what you believe about feminism, I want to inform you of what it means to me:
1. I want to be able to walk into any business for a position I’m fully qualified for and get the job because I have the intellectual capacity to do the job, not because my boss thinks I’ll make for great eye-candy around the office.
2. I want to be paid the same amount as a man with the same position as me who I work just as hard as, if not harder. And I do not want to be denied a raise simply because I’m not a man. My bills aren’t any cheaper.
3. I want to be cherished by a man for my mind and lovable personality, not for my pretty face to be shown off to the world as if I’m some pet he bosses around or a prize he won at a state fair.
4. I want my opinions to be heard the way the opinions of men are heard, without being called a “b*tch” in the process.
5. I want you to stop calling me an “Independent Woman” as if it’s so completely necessary to add “woman” to the end. Until the day that men are called “Independent Men”, just refer to me as independent.
6. I want men to stop thinking that I’m supposed to live my life in fear of their judgements on me because if I don’t, I’m in danger of “never finding a man.” I want them to realize that the man I do find will never define me as a woman, just like I don’t define him as a man.
7. I want men to understand that if I want to have sex, I will have sex because I chose to have it. And I’m not worried about how the person I chose to have it with feels about me afterwards. He should be worried about how I feel about him.
8. I also want men to know my right to have sex or not to have sex does not dictate my self-respect.
9. I want men to stop thinking that me denying them sex is denying them some God-given right as men. Um, last time I checked, my vagina belonged to me.
10. I want men to stop thinking if a woman doesn’t respect herself then she doesn’t deserve his respect. Shouldn’t good people respect everyone, anyway?
11. I want to be able to wear whatever I want to wear the same way men do, and not have to be objectified because of my choice. Did I grab the shirtless man running past me on the sidewalk? No. It’s not that hard.
12. I want men to understand that we don’t want to be men, or take the place of men. We just don’t want to be seen as beneath or subordinate to them.
13. I want men to stop calling women dumb, crazy, stupid, or whatever other demeaning term. We are women, that’s it. And without us, you wouldn’t be here.
14. I want men to stop thinking their mother and grandmother is the only exception to their beliefs about women; they must be forgetting that most of us will be mothers and grandmothers someday.
15. I want ALL people to stop mistaking feminism for misandry. No, I am not a “man hater,” I just think you can make your own d*mn sandwich.
I just want my rights as a woman; to be respected as a woman. Let me be as feminine as I want to be without objectification. My rights are just as important as yours. Now tell me, strong and independent men: was that so bad?