I love love. Who doesn’t yearn to be swept off their feet? But when it comes to self-love, it can feel more like falling down the stairs. Self-love is a practice that requires persistence and intention. You have to wake up and choose yourself every day, but let’s face it, most of us just wake up and worry about getting to class on time. What makes this feat even harder is all the ideas circulating about self-love. We live in an age where we have instant access to the opinions and lives of strangers; everybody is free to share their self-love journeys and techniques online. While this can be a positive, helpful aspect of the twenty-first century, it has its faults.
I’m not here to snub the lovely content creators who promote daily affirmations, healthy relationships with food, and going to therapy. Not all self-love content is awful. I’m particularly concerned with the videos that equate self-love with unattainable lifestyles. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I love self-care videos. I find them inspiring and aesthetically pleasing. However, social media can portray self-care materialistically. Since self-care is a way of showing yourself love, these videos make self-love appear out of reach for those who are less privileged.
Influencers get paid to promote products. In turn, self-care videos can be saturated with skincare products, nutrition supplements, workout sets, and so on. Now, the craze seems to be going even further, as I’ve seen several videos of young women getting Botox and other invasive treatments. These extravagant acts of self-care exclude those who don’t have an excess of money (and who does in this economy?). Additionally, these videos perpetuate the idea that buying things will make everything better. Forget intention and persistence; all you need is a Dyson Airwrap to show yourself some love.
I am worried about younger viewers who see these luxurious lifestyles and feel they need to live up to these standards to take care of themselves. I mean, look at the new trend of ten-year-olds buying Drunk Elephant skincare at Sephora. It’s not just ten-year-olds affected by this, though. I, too, have felt limited in my efforts to love myself because social media tells me I need to buy more, more, more. It leads me to have a negative mindset: until I can afford it, my acts of self-love will be inadequate.
So how am I supposed to practice self-care and self-love when this is what social media feeds me? My solution is to click away from these videos and turn to something completely free: self-discipline. I feel that discipline is the no-BS side to self-love. It’s always putting yourself first, even if it means experiencing discomfort, jealousy, or impatience. It’s not buying the face mask; it’s saving money because I deserve to feel financially secure. It’s feeling grateful for what I have, not making a new list of what I can buy. It’s sitting with my emotions and addressing my problems rather than pushing them away with a quick hit of dopamine from watching TikTok.
Self-love takes work. I know I won’t turn into a disciplined person overnight, but every day that I try for myself, I show myself I care. During this season of love, it’s time to be real: Is the social media you consume helping you practice self-love?