Dear Ex-BFF,
I remember when we met at the University’s orientation for First Year students. We were both spray painting t-shirts and lost the draw for a small scholarship. We found out we had some classes together, exchanged numbers, and promised to hang out once the semester started.
We got to know each other so well as the semester went on. We made sure to plan our second semester classes together and hung out all the time. We met a lot of new people and really had each other’s backs. We watched movies together, bought matching clothes, went to every party together, took turns buying candy for class, and even skipped the same classes together. A lot of our experiences were funny, illegal, and exciting for us since we both came from pretty sheltered families. Neither of us had ever had such a close best friend before and it was a really good feeling.
Things changed after the worst night of my life, though. As I was crying, trying to recover from the shock of what had just happened to me, your first words were, “Next time, we just won’t drink.” As if I would want there to be a next time. As if it was my fault for drinking. You continued to blame me and supported my attackers, while saying you still cared about me. I was hurt and confused and didn’t want to deal with what had happened, so I pushed it away. I ignored what you said and continued hanging out with you, pretending everything was fine.
As the months went on, it became increasingly difficult to hide how upset I was. I wasn’t dealing with anything. My mind wasn’t letting me go into denial anymore. As my mental health spiraled, my depression worsened and my anxiety increased. It felt like this one incident was having a negative impact on every aspect of my life and I didn’t have anyone to turn to for help.
Everything came to an all-time low when you chose to present a project that was very up-front, in my face, and you knew it would upset me. When I reacted, you tried to apologize and we agreed to talk, but the damage was done. No matter how many good qualities there were to our friendship, it just couldn’t be repaired.
I hope that you understand why I can’t be your best friend anymore. I know we’ll be able to have fun in classes together and talk if we go to the same parties, but we can never be as close as we were. You have different friends now and I’m trying to get my life in order, so I know we’ll both be alright. I didn’t think that our relationship would be cut so short so soon, but I’m grateful for all of the fun we had and for what we learned from one another. You played a huge role in helping me to grow up.
Love,
Your Ex-BFF