2021. If I were to summarize the year in the fewest words possible, self-discovery and change would seem best fit. 2021 was the year that I created new connections and strengthened my relationships, prioritized my needs, rediscovered my hobbies, and most importantly, grew out of my comfort zone. Albeit the positive experiences I’ve undergone in 2021 outweighed the negative ones, my negative experiences ultimately taught me life-changing and valuable lessons that I will continue to carry on for years to come. Without further ado, here are some of the lessons that I’ve learnt in 2021.
It’s more than okay to prioritize yourself and to set boundaries
In my personal relationships with my family and friends, I realized that I was prioritizing their needs and wants before my own. I would constantly make myself available to them by supporting them in times of distress and lending an ear. However, in return, I did not feel the same amount of support being reciprocated—I essentially felt like a sounding board and sensed that my emotions or opinions weren’t as valid. In retrospect, I wasn’t establishing any boundaries or communicating my needs—which led me to internalize how I truly felt. I was at a crossroads with myself and did not know how to navigate the tough situation that I was faced with. It led to a point where I made the decision to distance myself from certain people in order to truly focus on myself by prioritizing my needs, my emotions, feelings, and wants. What I’ve come to learn is that putting myself first doesn’t necessarily make me selfish, but rather has enabled me to be at peace with myself. It gave me a clearer sense of the boundaries that needed to be addressed within my personal relationships and how I wanted to go about establishing them.
Self-love is the best type of love
2021 was the year that I fell in love with myself. If I’m being honest, I previously never fully grasped the concept of self-love. I was under the impression that self-love entailed complicated concepts that I wasn’t at a disposition to understand. However, based on my understanding, I’ve come to learn that self-love is subjective and encompasses a multitude of things.
In the past, I was not as confident in myself in terms of my physical appearance and struggled with mental health issues. I was continuously looking for external validation and relied on the opinions of others in order to make personal decisions. I relentlessly doubted my capabilities and cared about other people’s perception of my character. To put it simply, my self-love was pretty much non-existent. However, I decided to change my mindset and focused on doing activities that made me genuinely happy. I started putting in more effort in my physical appearance, dabbled more in makeup, got manicures and pedicures on a daily basis, made occasional trips to the spa, took walks, and rediscovered my hobbies. Doing so put me in a much better headspace and gave me a confident boost in regards to my capabilities.
Self-love can be redefined in so many ways. However, my definition of self-love is simply about believing in your abilities, taking care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally, and doing things that brings you genuine happiness.