Introduction
Everyone loves free stuff, right? And free stuff on your birthday? Even better. The Internet is replete with listicles about all the freebies you can get on your special day, but there are none about free stuff you can get in Windsor, ON specifically. There are also none that provide you with an entire day’s itinerary revolving around free birthday stuff, complete with meals, snacks, and activities. Well, I am here to fix that. I’ve done all the research, read all the fine print, and have attempted to create an entire day’s programming that will cost a Windsorite as close to nothing as possible on their birthday. Enjoy!
Methodology
Yes, I do have a methodology because I am very serious about free stuff, okay? I tailored this list specifically to chain stores that have locations in Windsor, ON, so businesses without brick-and-mortars in this city were excluded. I also tried my best to limit the list to items that were 100% free. That means that I tried my best to avoid BOGO deals, discounts, points, or things of that nature. I wanted to spend as close to zero dollars as possible, so I generally tried to steer clear of anything requiring a purchase, with some exceptions. I also tried to pick free stuff ranging from food to activities and entertainment to general shopping—enough stuff to both feed and occupy someone for the entire day of their birthday.
If you’re a Windsorite and you plan on using this itinerary on your birthday, make sure to plan ahead by signing up for all relevant email lists beforehand. Most of them require you to be subscribed for a certain amount of time before the actual day of your birthday to redeem your birthday gifts, so this won’t work if you sign up the day of. This is also supposed to be a cross between a wild goose chase and a road trip. The whole point is to run all over the city in search of free things, and so, it would be best conducted with some friends for the ride. They will not be receiving free stuff, so you can reap additional enjoyment from gloating in their face. Let us begin.
Morning
G’morning, sunshine! It’s your birthday, so I encourage you to sleep in and have a late start to the day. I would recommend heading to Starbucks for a free food item of your choice (or drink, but you should have an actual meal for breakfast so you don’t pass out. Remember: coffee is not a meal, and that’s on eating disorder recovery). To get a free food item or drink on your birthday from this well-known coffee shop, you have to sign up for the Starbucks Rewards program at least 7 days before your birthday. Make sure to provide your birthday information at sign-up, and make at least one purchase worth at least one Canadian dollar beforehand. (Okay, I know I said this list wouldn’t include freebies requiring purchases, but I assume most people already shop at Starbucks and/or are Rewards program members since it’s free to sign up.) To browse Starbucks’ breakfast options, click here.
A small breakfast sandwich probably won’t be very filling on its own, so head on to Cora’s next for a free birthday surprise. To redeem your surprise on your special day, sign up for their newsletter here. According to various Internet sources, the birthday surprise is a $5 coupon. If this is indeed the case, I would recommend their Grilled Cheese sandwich with bacon and potatoes for $7.95 since that is the cheapest item on their menu and our goal is to spend as little as possible. (Or go nuts, it’s your birthday!) With 13% tax added on, the price comes up to $8.98, so with your coupon your total would be $3.98. However, other online sources claim that this is no longer Cora’s birthday freebie, so I guess a mystery deal awaits you.
If your surprise is underwhelming, then other options may be available. According to a recent Windsor Star news article, an IHOP restaurant is set to open in the city soon. If it happens to have officially opened by your birthday, then you can get free pancakes if you sign up for their MYHOP program.
Afternoon
Assuming you’re now full, we can do some activities. Sign up for Value Village’s Super Savers Club® to receive a 20% off coupon you can use on a single purchase worth $50 or less. Now, use your coupon for a lil’ birthday thrift trip! Again, I know I said our goal was to spend as close to nothing as possible, but that’s turned out to be surprisingly difficult, so maybe we should revise the goal to spending as little as possible. Your thrift trip could go very well and you could end up spending $40 ($50 minus 20%), or it could be a bust and you might walk out empty-handed, in which case you would have spent $0 as intended. It’s the thrill of the hunt that really counts. We also have to kill a few hours and thrifting is the best way to do that, so go look at some cool old stuff.
You’re probably hungry again by now, so it’s time for some lunch. Head to the food court inside the Mall and make your way to New York Fries for free regular fries. Sign up for their Loyalty Program, the aptly named Fry Society, to get your free fries. Make sure to log into your account and add your birthday under the ‘My Info’ tab since you won’t be asked to give this information at sign-up (very sneaky, NYF!) The fine print also notes that you must load money onto your account online at least once in order to qualify, and the minimum amount you can load onto it is $5 (once again, very sneaky of you, NYF). Next, you can head to Buffalo Wild Wings for some free wings; just sign up for their rewards program. (Fair disclosure: I’m vegetarian so I feel like a traitor to my people in mentioning this, but it turns out that most free birthday stuff isn’t actually free, so I’m doing what I can with what I have. Also, they have cauliflower bites, so that’s kinda nice.)
Now, let’s go do some shopping at Devonshire Mall. But first, stop by Chatime for a midday refreshing bubble tea drink. Sign up for a Chatime Rewards account at least seven days before your birthday for a free birthday drink. Note that this freebie is only available if you’ve made a minimum purchase of $2.50 within the year.
You can now head to the Mall and check out Sephora to pick a free gift, like a mini makeup or skincare product. To get your gift, sign up to be a Beauty Insider. You can check out the 2022 gift offerings here. Next, make your way to The Body Shop for a free $10 voucher to spend on your birthday.
There’s also a ton of clothing and accessory stores at the Mall that offer birthday discounts ranging from 10% to 30% off if you sign up for their newsletters or rewards programs, including American Eagle, La Senza, Old Navy, RW&CO, Ricki’s, Garage/Dynamite, Ardene, Cleo, Aldo, Laura, Northern Reflections, and TORRID. Not even close to free but just throwing it out there. Even if you don’t buy anything, it’s fun to try stuff on or window-shop.
Evening
Time for dinner! If you sign up for Mandarin’s rewards program at least one day before your birthday, you’ll receive an e-coupon for a free buffet meal if you bring three paying adults to dine with you. For dessert, head to Baskin Robbins for a free scoop of ice cream. All you have to do is sign up for their newsletter.
Now, head to Riverside for a long, nice, (and free!) stroll.
Conclusions
So, assuming you’ve followed this list to a tee, you would still need to spend at a minimum $12.48 to receive “free” birthday gifts and meals. But you’d probably end up spending way more once all these businesses got you to step foot through their doors, which is really the whole point of a birthday freebie. I wanted to test out this little itinerary this year for my own birthday and see how my day would go, but after completing it, I’m not so tempted anymore. My conclusion from this little experiment is that birthday freebies are seriously overhyped, and only a select few stores and restaurants offer genuinely free items of some substantial value that are actually worth your while. Although it’s exciting to get stuff for free, you definitely should not be fooled into thinking that you’re getting a real deal. Birthday rewards are mostly a marketing ploy, and they’re an effective one at that.