Having a significant experience that influenced your life needs to be reflected on. Reflection tends to be the moment where one can give serious thought to the events that have surpassed and acknowledge the power those events held. Sometimes the thought of reflection can be overwhelming; the idea of nitpicking at what you did here and what you said here can seem like an arduous process. But, I think the power of reflection lies in the ability to let observatory thoughts come to you. Even if it is the next day or five months after, an acceptance of experience should be completed where you can say you are proud of yourself and what you did.
In the second semester of my third year, I had the opportunity to study abroad. It was both the most exciting and terrifying thing I have ever done.
Although I have always liked the idea of traveling abroad and seeing the world, it was never a key feature on my mind. There were always negative thoughts of health precautions, prejudice, finances, and getting lost. These thoughts often snuck up on me when I wasn’t prepared and built a wall between myself and the idea of traveling alone.
Hearing about the opportunity to do an exchange, though, picked up my interest. It sounded a bit more comfortable since I would be able to be at the new university and live on campus. Being surrounded by other students helped calm me down a bit because I knew that they would all be studying and probably experiencing the same things I experienced back home. So on a whim (highly encouraged by my parents), I went for it.
And I didn’t regret it.
“I should give myself credit for trying to put my best foot forward.”
I was able to understand my major better from another university’s perspective. I was able to eat new foods that I may or may not willingly eat again. I was able to meet new people- several of whom I intend to keep in touch with as time goes on. I was able to travel to new countries and see sights I’ve only ever seen on my computer. I was able to listen to new music and let it grow on me. I was able to speak new languages with people in person and replicate new accents. I was able to take the train by myself to a whole new city. I was able to meet family I had only heard about. And the list goes on.
Having the chance to do all of this was a blessing, rather than a curse. It was a chance for me to give myself credit for the things I do; to understand that some people would never attempt to do the things I thought were easy. It’s hard sometimes for people to realize the truly great things that they do because they are overshadowed by the thought that they can do better.
But the thing about reflection is that you can focus on the past, and see that even if you wanted to do better, you can’t. Unfortunately, the past has passed and you can only look to the next experience in which you can do ‘better’.
One of my key takeaways was that I did what I could at the moment and I really can’t turn back time to change that. It was the acceptance of my actions that helped me realize I did well. I had wins and I had losses, and knowing that now can help me re-evaluate the future. But I should give myself credit for trying to put my best foot forward. I should be proud of myself. And I am.