The topic of religion is one of the most sensitive topics to touch upon in today’s society. Considered taboo, forcing religion onto another person or a group can be seen as harmful and controlling. Despite the fact that everyone has the right to practice freedom of religion, the concept has been controversial within the mass media for decades. For many, religion is one of the important aspects in their life, while others may not pay too much attention to it and completely disregard it. Both are fine. In fact, I related more to the latter in previous years.
I was born and raised in Georgia. You may ask yourself,”why do I need to know where you were born?” Well, in the South, religion is heavily compacted among families and communities. I was raised a Christian. I went to church on Sundays with my family. I read the Bible at a young age, both the Old and New Testaments. Like the rest of my family, I believed in the power of prayer. I believed that catering myself to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ would give me the light to a brighter future. I furthered my faith within Christianity during the earlier part of my life. Then, came middle school.
As I mentioned in previous articles, middle school was the roughest part of my life and I experienced many downfalls. One of these downfalls consisted of losing my faith in God. I no longer believed that a higher power would bless me with a good life in return. Despite my declining relationship with God, I still made it my mission to attend church on Sundays with my family. Why? Because, I wanted to be seen as the perfect daughter. Deep down, I felt unhappy with myself and I continued to feel like this for the rest of middle school and most of high school. Whenever my parents or friends suggested turning to Jesus for guidance, I ignored their advice, because I no longer believed that praying or asking for salvation would help.
Looking back, I was in need of help. Not only with my mental health, but to fix my relationship with God. The summer of 2019 brought me two unexpected events that would derail my mental health even more. My first boyfriend broke up with me and I suffered from heartbreak for the first time in my life. In July of that year, I lost my grandfather. My grandfather was someone who was heavily dependent on God and praised Him a lot. He used to advise me on using my Christian faith for strength, character, and positivity. At this time in my life, I needed someone like him. So, losing him was the biggest blow that I have experienced. Within the next year, the pandemic affected many lives, including mine. All of these bad things that were happening to not just me, but to the world, left me wondering on what to believe in. I knew that believing in God and turning to Him in my darkest hour would hand me many blessings, but I just didn’t know where to start.
Doubting my belief in God and questioning my faith were one of the most difficult things that I have experienced in my life so far. After I lost my grandfather, my belief in God started to shrink even more. I remember asking myself,”Why would God take him away from me?” Despite the anger within God and myself, I never once obtained hate for Him. Hating God would be like hating myself. Repairing my relationship with Him and my faith set me on a quest for finding inspiration and opening my eyes up to what I was missing all along.
Luckily enough, my grandmother was one of the few people to inspire me to fix my relationship with God. Entering college, she would send me biblical verses through texts as a form of love and gratitude. She would bless me for better days and encourage me to turn to God for help. Another person that inspired me was Tim Tebow. For most of his career, Tebow has been outspoken about his faith and God. Like myself, Tebow experienced many setbacks, but has always kept his faith in Jesus Christ to keep himself going. When I discovered him, I knew that I wanted to be like him. Having God as my ultimate source of guidance. Within the past year, I can say that repairing my relationship with God helped me get through some of my darkest days. And, I know that life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. But, knowing that I have someone to pray to and to look up to inspires me to keep my love and belief in them.