It’s been five years and our hearts are still torn. Jersey Shore only aired from 2009-2012 and it simply wasn’t enough time. If you could ignore the obvious issues with this show (abusive relationships, perpetuating stereotypes, alcoholism, unsafe sexual relations – to name only a few) then you probably fell in love with the trashy cast of Jersey Shore.
That’s what’s so great about this show; the cast was lovable despite their inadequacies. Perhaps that’s what drew you to the show in the first place. These unsanitary, unfaithful, and unfixable people were still lovable. And that gave all of us hope. If hope isn’t reason enough, here are 10 more reasons that Jersey Shore should make a comeback:
1. The bromance between Pauly D and Vinny was so pure.
These boys were the definition of peanut butter and jelly, mac ‘n’ cheese, Jӓgerbomb and “grenade;” they just went together perfectly. Nothing is cuter than a healthy friendship between men. They encouraged each other and their love endured season upon season. It was truly beautiful.
2. Snooki, in general, was the definition of freedom.
She may have been an airhead but she was living her fullest life. Snooki danced like a fool, “smushed” as much as she damn well pleased, and coined this phrase which I still cling to with passion:
The world needs to live vicariously through this woman again.
3. JWoww’s boobs, enough said.
4. They revolutionize pronunciation!
The word “traumatizing” was forever altered by Sammie Sweetheart. In her countless knock-down-drag-out fights with Ronnie, Sammie changed the world. While these scenes were difficult to watch, we can’t help but scream, “RAAAHHNN STAAAHP, YER TRAUMAHTIZING MEH” whenever we feel attacked. Now just imagine the other words that the cast of Jersey Shore could revamp.
5. How else are we supposed to know how to act in the club?
Without Jersey Shore, we’ve lost our clubbing role models.
No one could dance, pick up hot beach babes, or drink like the cast of Jersey Shore. They taught us how to grind, how to embarrass ourselves, and how to go home with the wrong person.
They also taught us a little bit about the unbreakable bonds of drunken friendship and taking a cab (“cabs are here!”) when things get messy. They were club heroes. We owe them our allegiance.
6. They ruined the Easter Bunny. Forever.
Maybe this is a reason not to bring back Jersey Shore… but hey, where else can you see two meatballs wearing giant bunny heads?
7. WHEN IS T-SHIRT TIME? NO ONE KNOWS!
Without the customary and harmonic chorus, “it’s t-shirt time!” how can we possibly know when to put on t-shirts? We’re lost in a world of tanks and hoodies. When, oh when, is t-shirt time again?
8. Life lessons in a trashy Jersey accent.
Yas, girl, yas! We all deserve to be a priority. It doesn’t matter if we did a cartwheel in a miniskirt and accidentally shared our “kookah” with the world. We deserve the best.
That’s right, Sammie! You’re not on “Ron Watch” anymore. They were mutually abusive but nothing justifies an unhealthy relationship. You just have to move on and let it go.
JWoww may have been wild but she was the voice of reason in that house. She always had good advice and we need more of it.
9. They’ll come up with more useful acronyms.
The acronyms created by the Jersey Shore cast include, but are not limited to: DTF (down to fuck), DTS (down to snuggle), FTD (fresh to death), and GTS (gym, tan, smush). Maybe the next would be MAT (meatballs are trashed) or OOF (outfit on fleek).
10. And finally, we need to hate someone like we hated Mike, The Situation.
Few things made our blood boil like Mike. He was hateful, selfish, and frequently pressured girls into having sex with him. He’s the literal definition of “ew.”
Oh, Jersey Shore, we miss you terribly. You gave us endless pleasure and we wish you’d come back. It’s been too long, truly. The world needs your uncompromising lust for alcohol. It needs family dinners and “she’s too young for you, bro” jokes. I know that the cast is busy living their lives, having children, and carrying on. But the world needs the mostly-Italian drama. Bring back Jersey Shore, for the love of New Jersey!
Thumbnail courtesy of hollywoodreporter.com