Life in the Midwest can lead to some of the best summers of your life. Lounging at the lake, going to the cabin with family, and eating some of the best fried fish. However, five months out of the year, it is a whole new can of worms. We have learned the survival tactics of our forefathers and we thrive, bragging to anyone who will listen that we don’t even notice the below-zero weather anymore. For those of you who would like to learn our trade secrets, read on.
Always keep an ice-scraper in your car year round
Year round, you might ask? It’s true. You always want to be ready when the ice hits, and you don’t want to be that derp in the parking lot who has to wait for their defrost to do all the work.
Never leave the house without several hundred layers
Only a fool would think it’s acceptable to leave with only a thin jacket. Didn’t your mother teach you better?
Beware of the wind
Cold is one thing, but when you combine it with freezing winds, you might as well just stay at home.
Get used to never feeling truly warm again
Remember those sweet summer days when you could prance around freely in just a tank top and short? Well, forget those days.
Chapstick and lotion are your new best friends
The cold really takes a toll on the skin, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Midwesterners are no longer fazed by blizzards, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t dangerous
You may encounter some trucks that like to pretend that 70 degrees and sunny as they barrel past everyone else.
By the time April rolls around, people are going to start breaking out the flipflops.
It may be 50 degrees but, to Midwesterners, it feels like summertime. We haven’t felt this alive in months, give us a break.
We can pretend that we like snow and ice for a month or so, but as soon as Christmas is over, we’re sick and tired of having to drive 20 mph below the speed limit to avoid slipping off the highway. However the weather, we Midwesterners love our region and we wouldn’t trade it for the world…most of the time.