1. TGIF! Haha, just kidding. I hate Fridays.
I can’t wait to go out after work smelling like fish fry!
2. Alright, time to make some monaaaay!
After all, that rent isn’t going to pay itself and I desparately need to go grocery shopping.
3. UGH. It is sooooo slow!
I’m never going to make any money…
4. OMG. Did I just get double, wait no, triple sat?!
5. Why would you make me stand here 5 extra minutes after you said you’re ready to order?
6. Do you really need to add bacon, avocado, extra cheese, and only one slice of lettuce to your burger?
Or ya know, you could order something off the menu.
7. That guy at table 42 looks sooo familiar, did we have a class together?
I’ll just casually walk by a few times to get a better look.
8. Oh wait, no, I’ve got it! He’s my roommate’s friend’s ex.
9. UH, why didn’t I eat before I came here? That pizza looks to die for and those fries are taunting me
10. No, you cannot grab that drink off my tray, unless you want to smell like bloody mary mix the rest of the day.
I know you’re trying to help, but this is a strategic balancing act here people.
11. The “Please wait to be seated” signs are there for a reason, folks!
12. Why can’t you tell me everything you need on my first trip? It would save us both some time
13. Pleaaassse please please let this all be on one tab.
“Oh, all separate checks?” Just smile and nod, smile and nod.
14. You’re actually covering the whole bill for the group of 20?
15. You said I did a great job and the food was good, sooo you tip me less than 10%?? Yeah that makes sense.
16. Ok, how effective do you really think leaving your number on the receipt is?
17. I’m finally cut! Now all I have to do is finish bussing my tables, fill my ketchups, roll silverware, take out the trash, stock the server alley, cut lemons, and sweep the floor…