If you give a Virginian a Vacation, she’s going to ask for a plane ticket to California. When you give her the ticket, she’ll probably ask to to go to San Diego. When she gets there, she’ll be hungry. She’ll ask you for Chipotle, but you’ll give her authentic Mexican food instead (and she’ll like it better).
Then she’ll want to want to sight-see. When she catches a glimpse of the ocean, she might get a bit too excited. So she’ll probably ask to do the Titanic pose with you.
When she’s finished getting the perfect Instagram shot, she’ll decide that she’s about to be Insta-famous. She’ll start fantasizing. She might get carried away and ask to go to L.A. She may even end up at the Warner Brothers Studio movie lot.
When she’s there, she’ll probably want to take a tour. You’ll have to take pictures of her on various sets…. …and you might even have to quiet her screams when she sees Vanessa Hudgens walk by.
When she finds her way to the Friends set, she will become thirsty for Central Perk coffee. You’ll have to purchase some for her immediately. Then she will want a meal to go with her drink. She will probably ask to go to another California favorite: In n Out.
When she receives her order of a burger and fries, she will probably want to take a Snapchat. After choosing a filter and adding the picture to her story, she will scroll through a few other stories and realize that some Hoos are nearby. She will probably ask to meet up with them. When the Hoos are together, she’ll want to take a group photo. She’ll probably want to take it on the beach. So you’ll pose on the Strand, and she’ll notice a pier in the background.
She’ll get so excited and want to jump off of it into the ocean, but she will probably get too scared. So instead she’ll videotape her friends jumping off. Which means she’ll need a good angle.
When she goes down to the beach to capture her friends swimming into shore, they will greet her with a nice, wet hug. She will try to dry off in the parking lot, but this will not do.
So on the way home, she will ask you for a shirt. You’ll take her to a souvenir shop in Del Mar where she’ll buy a graphic tee. Then she’ll want to wear it back to Virginia.
A few days later, she might be studying in her dorm. She’ll probably be very stressed for her exams. She’ll notice the shirt she purchased in her pile of laundry, and looking a the shirt will remind her of California. So…she’ll ask you for a plane ticket. And chances are if she asks you for a ticket, she’s going to want a vacation to go with it.