Sex is an important part of many relationships. When you’re young, it’s hard to figure out what you need when it comes to sex. Especially if you’re like me who hasn’t had many sex partners. Sex has always been a topic that I only spoke to my friends about, never a partner, because who can handle that conversation? Not me, well not past me. Today, I’m more comfortable when it comes to talking about sex. It’s not a taboo conversation, and I think everyone can benefit from learning how to talk about their sexual needs in a relationship.
First, figure out what you want in your sex life. There’s A LOT of different things to do during sex, and not everyone is the same. Are you someone who wants to do more role-play, or someone who wants more affection before doing the deed? I personally love some affection before, the sweet forehead kisses and the compliments about my body. Everyone has different needs, it’s not always as simple as this or that, and that’s okay.
Second, set your boundaries with your sex partner. This is the most important in my opinion. If there’s something you never want to do during sex, make it be known before anything. You can discuss with them the do’s and don’ts of your personal sex needs by asking them what they don’t want to do. This will help open a safe space where you both can communicate your boundaries clearly.
Lastly, have fun. Yes, that’s it, just have fun. Sometimes we overthink sex, we try to plan things, expect things, make ourselves nervous. I know it’s not as easy as three simple steps, it takes time to figure out what you want during sex and it’s an ongoing journey. Who knows, maybe some of you will start exploring different things or start to hate certain positions, that’s okay. If you have a sex partner who can’t communicate or you feel you can’t express your own needs to, then it’s time to move on. Everyone deserves a healthy, fun sex life and to be able to communicate their sexual needs.