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Why You’re Stuck in the “Friend Zone”

The friend zone does not exist, folks. And I’m being serious when I say that it is a made up thing that is giving you the perfect excuse for not putting the blame on yourself because they don’t like you like ‘that.’ It’s easy to fall back on this thought process and truly feel like you have no control of letting that person who is “just your friend” know that they mean more to you, but there is a way to avoid the “friend zone” altogether.

Let your intentions be known from the beginning.

The “friend zone” is only a thing because we are terrified to reveal our feelings. We’re scared to come off as to forward to someone, so we treat them like a friend. You don’t flirt with them or ask them out, you just play it cool and “hang out.” While this may work sometimes to steal the heart of your new interest, most of the time it doesn’t. It ends with you two being just friends. Nothing more. Like brother and like sister or something. 

So, how does one be more forward, rather than falling in with the crowd? You say things that would spark an interest. “Can I get your phone number? What’s your Facebook? I’m going to need message you ASAP about our assignment. Do you want to get together this Thursday to help me study? I really need your smarts to get me through this class.” The more confident, the more intriguing. Humans like confidence. We like to know that we’re going after someone who is a go-getter. Don’t waste your time being just friendly and casually showing up where they are showing up, go walk up to them and spark up a conversation. Let them know you’re interested.

But let’s say you are stuck in this “friend zone” and don’t know how to get out. You become not as available. Not in the sense of playing hard to get, but in the sense of not being their best friend. When they call to vent about someone else, change the subject. Start to flirt with them casually by joking with them or playfully poking their buttons.

Get yourselves alone and look your best. If this is the person you want to date, then treat them like it. Be your best self around them.

And if they are STILL not interested, let it go and move on. Dating is always about being on the move looking for the person you want to be with. That’s why we date around, is so we can learn what we like and what we don’t like. Don’t spend your life chasing after someone who sees you as their sister/brother. Chase after the new person who likes you for you! 

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