When I closely examine my flaws, the first one that comes to mind is constantly trying to please everyone all the time. Recently, this particular flaw of mine has gotten me into two very different situations.
Trying to please everyone all the time can often make you forget about close friends’ feelings. For example, I recently encountered a situation where I cared more about having a boy like me than thinking about how my close friend, who was very interested in him, felt about it. It made me think about similar experiences in my past–constantly wanting people I hardly knew from high school to like me, rather than focusing on my true friends’ feelings It made me think about how to my friends, it seems as though boys or people I hardly talk to are worth more than our close friendship, which isn’t true at all. It made me realize that although people pleasing can be a good thing in many scenarios, it can also cause conflict between close friends–friends who matter much more than pleasing people you hardly know.
People pleasing can also make you vulnerable and can get you into situations where you let people constantly boss you around and badger you into things you don’t want to do. Again, I recently encountered a nasty situation with my roommate where she tried to get me to do an illegal sublet, which violated our housing contract–something my parents were completely against me doing since they pay my rent. This time, I stood up for myself–I explained to her why it wasn’t okay and that I was not going to allow it. Although she got incredibly angry and we still are not speaking to one another, it gave me a sense of power I had not felt before: the power of saying no. For the first time, I was not giving into someone no matter how much they guilt tripped me, no matter how frustrated they got.
These two situations I have endued in the past week have made me realize just how complicated people pleasing can be–although pleasing others can often be rewarding, it can also cause conflict between close friends, as well as have the potential to make you feel like others have all the power. People pleasing, although it can make you a naturally generous, nice, and caring person, doesn’t always please yourself.