I’m stressed out over a fifteen page research paper. I slave over it in the final days before it’s due, abandoning sleep for a grade. I’m exhausted, my life revolving around red bull and Luna bars, and when I finally turn that paper in I go home and fall into bed. I later awaken to four missed calls from my best friend. He tells me to come outside my bedroom. I’m confused. He’s at my house. I don’t know why. I open my door and he’s got a beaming smile. He leads me by the hand to the kitchen, pulls open the oven door, and shows me a homemade dinner. “I knew you were stressed, and I know you haven’t been eating, so I decided to come over and make you dinner.” Let’s just say the tears were imminent. Here are reasons why girls are obsessed with the idea of having a gay best friend…
1. They will always go to the gym with you.
2. They’ll wine and dine you and you don’t have to sleep with them.
3. They aren’t afraid to tell you if a guy is using you, and they’ll be willing to punch him in the face for you too. Or not.
4. They will always cuddle with you. Always.
5. They’ll automatically pretend to be your boyfriend. In any situation. No questions asked.
6. You’ll always have a midnight McDonald’s buddy
7. They’ll let you get two large fries and eat them too.
8. Girl’s night out? More like night in with your gay best friend. He’ll bring the wine and you don’t even have to put pants on.
9. Magic Mike? In theatres? Twice.
10. They’ve probably seen you naked more times than your boyfriend.
11. And they’ll always point out how good your butt looks.
12.They’ll bring you ice cream when you’re on your period
13. They’ll be your guinea pig and let you put eyeliner on them.
14. They’ll give you a lapdance while giving the eyes to another guy the whole time.
15. They know more about contouring than you.
16. You’ll always have someone to edit your paper, even when they’re out of the country.
17. You’re never going to be alone at the club.
18. They’ll hit it off with your mother.
19. And your mother with never stop shipping you as a couple.
20. You’ll both question your sexuality because you get along so wel.
21. Either way though, you’ll always be meant to be.
The only stipulation about having a gay best friend is that you’re automatically required to go to pride with them – likely half naked and covered in body paint and glitter. But you know what? It’s worth it. See you at pride!
ps. Never put two GBF’s in the same room together. They’ll go to town laughing about your lifestyle.