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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Utah chapter.

Nobody is perfect, and as a result, nobody’s relationship is perfect either. Occasional disagreements and arguments are a normal and healthy part of any relationship. They allow for discussions and opportunities to fix problems the couple may be experiencing. With that being said I feel that it is very important to be able to recognize when a relationship ceases to healthy and normal. Here are some warning signs you are in a toxic relationship. These warning signs are applicable to all relationships, not just romantic relationships.  

  1. They make you feel guilty for living your own life.

It is normal to want to spend a lot of time with your significant other, but if they start making you feel like you can’t spend time with anyone else that can be a warning sign of possessive tendencies. You should be able to spend time with friends and family without feeling guilty or like you are the bad guy for wanting to be independent. Toxic people will try to isolate you from friends and family to keep you dependent on them and prevent you from leaving them.


2. They accuse you of crazy things.

If your significant other is constantly accusing you of things like lying, cheating, or wanting out of the relationship even though you have never given them any reason to be suspicious of you, this shows a level paranoia and lack of trust that is not healthy for your relationship. There has to be a great deal of trust with your significant other and if you don’t have that, then your relationship is going to start to disintegrate. It has also been said that people who hand out accusations without prompt are probably projecting their own guilt onto you for committing these crimes.


3. They continuously gaslight you

Gaslighting is when someone manipulates another person into questioning your own sanity. They use this manipulation as a way of controlling you. Gaslighting is serious and has many symptoms including feeling disoriented or confused, not being able to remember certain details, not being able to trust your own judgment, and consistently feeling as though you are overly sensitive or overreacting. It can be hard to detect if you are a victim of gaslighting because it relies on making you feel like you are going crazy, so it is very important to know the signs.

4. They are constantly lying to you

Another sign of a toxic relationship is if you find yourself constantly catching your significant other in lies. Habitual lying is not something that should be overlooked or brushed under the rug. Lying can be a clear indication that they are participating in other shady behavior. If they are lying to you, it is probably because they are doing things they know are wrong, and are just trying to cover it up to save their own ass.


5. They make you feel  unsafe with their words or actions

There are many things your significant other can do or say that can make you feel unsafe. This can range from verbal threats all the way to actual acts of physical violence. In these scenarios, it is very important to listen to your instincts and act accordingly. If you are ever afraid for your own safety, it is critical to remove yourself from the situation as quickly and as safely as possible. Never be afraid to call or reach out to a close friend or family member if need be.


While these are warning signs of a toxic relationship, many items on this list are also acts of abuse and should be taken seriously. Nobody deserves to be abused, and everyone has the right to feel safe, loved, and respected in their relationship. If your fear that you or someone you care about may be in an abusive relationship, you can call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit their website http://www.thehotline.org


Her Campus Utah Chapter Contributor