In an era where we are constantly comparing ourselves to one another, we tend to be hyper-critical of ourselves. There is great value in finding ways to be more compassionate towards ourselves and accept who we are, flaws and all. Practicing self-compassion may be something we are not used to, but we can begin to implement it in our daily lives.
Self-compassion allows us to see ourselves as we are connected to our communities and the world as a whole. Self-compassion is not to inflate our ego or self-image, but rather to allow us to show the same kindness to ourselves that we show to others. Whether we have made a mistake or embarrassed ourselves, having self-compassion allows us to acknowledge the moment and move on. Self-compassion may act to deactivate the threat system which causes feelings like insecurity and defensiveness and rather activate the self-soothing system which causes feelings of safeness and secure attachment (Gilbert, 1989). There are many ways to practice self-compassion, and below is a list of five!
- Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness has been proven to lessen self-judgment and help to reduce stress overall. My favorite short mindfulness practice to do before bed is this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p_yaNFSYao You can also try a social media detox or keep a mindfulness journal.
- Gratitude: Appreciating the things that we have in our lives is a great way to switch our focuses to what we do have rather than what we don’t.
- Growth Mindset: When you have a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset, you’ll work through challenges and persevere. You can also look towards your strengths to overcome obstacles.
- Forgiveness: It has been said before that we are our harshest critics — when we practice forgiveness we can ensure that we are not minimizing our sense of self based on performance. Another aspect of forgiving is accepting past mistakes. There’s a quote by Maya Angelou that says “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” I believe that this is one of the best representations of doing the best you can, and forgiving yourself when you thought you could have done better.
- Being kind to yourself: If we focus our energy on positive emotions rather than judging or complaining, we can begin to practice self-kindness. Other ways to practice self-kindness include positive self-talk, rest days, eating food that makes you feel good, saying no to things we don’t want to do, giving hugs, and nurturing good relationships.
While self-compassion may not be the easiest thing to do sometimes, it is vital that we begin to practice it in our daily lives.